8 more days

I put in my 2 week notice on Monday, so my time at the facility grows short. Thank Goddess, because that place is so full of ugliness I can't keep going there without changing who I am. So I'm leaving. There is this old man I work with who reminds me a lot of my papa. Yesterday he found out I was quitting and he said, "All I had to do was take a look at your face over the past two weeks to know you were falling apart like a ten dollar watch." I thanked him for being supportive. 8 more days.

no school!

Today is a no school day, which means I still report for work but there won't be any classes. I have to go to a training for the new electronic gradebook but other than that, I can spend the whole day doing lesson plans and cleaning the pigsty of a classroom I have inherited. (There is no custodial staff where I work.)
The phone I bought on e-bay seems to be broken. So people, if you need to reach me, use email! On another fun note, I appear to be developing another skin tag. Is this something that happens with age? EW!

The best sandwich ever

I just had a tuna sandwich with bread and butter pickles on toasted whole wheat. I just had to share because it was the best. sandwich. ever. Or maybe I was just really hungry.

MIT

My kid got a letter from MIT. Not a big deal letter, just an invitation saying when and where their recruiters would be. But still, MIT?? Holy crap.

Last Day!

Today is my last day of academy! I made it! Or, I'm really close anyway! If I can just get through today I will be done. Today we're learning about classroom management.
Yesterday, one of the cadets was dismissed. She was the one that kept raising her hand asking really stupid questions. The instructor would be reading the powerpoint, hammering home some stupid point that was totally obvious to anyone with half a brain. Of course her hand would go up. Then she would ask a question that had either already been answered or was on the next slide. It drove everyone else crazy. Anyway the past 2 days we have been learning how to physically restrain someone when they are acting aggressively. It's been very hands-on, and we've had to overcome the whole "you're a boy and I don't want your arms around my waist" thing. She had a really hard time with the whole thing and I guess they decided she is a security risk. So she's gone, just like that! Couldn't have happened to a nicer gal. NOT! I'm being mean, but I'm glad she's gone.

I got promoted

Not really, I didn't get promoted to head of the math department. What really happened is the other math teacher quit. So now I'm it. This means my class sizes will be huge. We're talking 16 screwed up, ADHD, sometimes violent high school aged boys in the same room. I just don't see a whole lot of teaching going on. Well, it's a good thing I am going through academy so I can be a corrections officer instead. Yeah, it's just a good thing.

4 more days

Only 4 more days of that lousy academy! I cannot wait to be done!
All that sitting makes me so restless. It's good to have a refresher perspective on what my students' days are like. It will help me remember to have them actively participating and up out of their seats every 15 minutes or so.
So, it will make me a better teacher, and that's really all that matters in the long run. It's the short run that gets me.

Two things

Two things have happened since I started working at the department of corrections. First, I am much more feminine when I am at home than I used to be. I need to have my nails just so, my toes pedicured, something sparkly somewhere on my body, and lots and lots of pink. Second, I am watching more cartoons. I find that I have lost interest in every other tv show I used to watch, and now the only things I watch are The Simpsons and Family Guy. Why? Because I get plenty of reality all day long. When I get home, I need to be a princess in a more pleasant, funny reality. A reality where the criminals don't hurt anyone and the police bungle around, never catching them. Those are my observations so far. It's still been such a short time, who knows what the long term effects will be! If I keep the job, and that's still a big if.
Only 9 more days of academy left to go. I can do it! I can do it!

13 to go

Only 13 more academy days to go. I'm almost halfway through. Yesterday was actually much, much better. We learned about drugs and mental health treatment, so the classes were interesting. We will be tested on this material, and they gave us a study guide with the test questions, so we had that to fill out as well. All in all, not a bad day. Hopefully today will be as good or better!

Another funny CNN bias note... I guess they are full on supporting Barack Obama. On their website, there is a link that says "Who will Obama pick as VP?" Then right below it is a link that says "Who will be John McCain's running mate?"

Day 3

This is day 3 of 3 days of training in Phoenix. I am really looking forward to getting home. I like my coworkers, but nobody needs to spend this much time around the people they work with! There's bonding, then there's bonding. Right now, for example, I have my back turned to my still slumbering roommate. Why? She apparently doesn't wear underwear to bed, and let me tell you a full moon is out, plus some.

More stupid academy

Today we are learning CPR and first aid so maybe it won't be quite so boring. We have to actually do CPR on a dummy. Ugh. Picture doing that in a starched white shirt and creased pants. YUCK!
It's seriously so bad, I want to quit the freaking job to avoid going. But, people who have been through it keep telling me it will pick up after the first 2 weeks are over. I really, really hope so.

Death of a Student

One of my mentor teachers told me before I actually started teaching that it was a job that will break your heart. "You will see things you are powerless over," she said. "You will be their mother and their friend, and spend more time with them than any other adult, and then you will have to let them go. Some of them will die. Some of them will die because they killed themselves. You have to be ready for that."
I never forgot that conversation because I knew it was true. But nobody can prepare you for when it actually happens. And it does indeed break your heart.
****, you will be missed. You were such a special girl - one of my favorites, but don't tell anyone! I'm sorry you had to go so soon. You were beautiful inside and out. Rest in peace, lovely child.

Black and Whites

At stupid academy the other day, we were talking about the difference between preference and bias. I gave the example of black and white cookies. If I am going to eat a cookie, I prefer a black and white cookie. My bias, however, is MY black and white cookies.
Well, you should have seen the reaction. After class, the instructor told me what day she would be returning to class and asked if she could have a black and white cookie. Then, the coordinator (the big boss) told me that one of the other cadets' birthdays would fall the Sunday before, and would I be willing to make cookies for everyone to celebrate? She would be more than happy to reimburse me for the cost of making the cookies. She would get some milk for us from the kitchen.
So, long story short, at least we get a small escape from the stupid academy to have cookies and milk. (Don't worry Marianne, I will make some for you too.)

stupid academy

The pace of the training academy has picked up a bit so it's not quite so torturous. I find myself making little deals with the clock. Like, it's 9:30 now. At 9:43 I will eat this piece of candy. Then at 9:53, I will take a drink of water. I don't know if that gives you a little picture of what it's like in there. They have power point presentation after power point presentation and they read the slides verbatim. Then they tell a story, which is not really a story because it's not in the least bit entertaining. Then they go to the next slide.
It's Thursday, which means I am on the downside slope of the week. Hooray! Two whole days of not wearing a starched white shirt and black pants. The freedom! The blessed freedom!!!!

1 down, 23 to go

I am counting down the days of academy. I absolutely hated yesterday. HATED IT. It was so incredibly boring and we sat almost the entire day. Sitting still is NOT one of my better talents. At least not without a book in my hands, and I was afraid of getting into trouble if I did that. We have to address everyone as "Sir" or "Ma'am" and if we forget they remind us. We have to stand at parade rest and wait to be told to sit down. At the end of class we have to stand at attention and wait to be dismissed. We have to wear shiny black shoes, black pants with a crease, and long sleeved white dress shirts with creases on the arms. The commander told us to starch the creases so they will last all day.
SIGH.

academy

I start my 5-week training academy tomorrow. Yikes. The dress code is a long-sleeved, white, button up shirt with a collar, tucked in to a black or navy blue pair of dress pants or a skirt that goes below the knee. I have to wear shined black shoes and wear my hair up. It's like the freaking army or something. UGH! And I look totally fat when I have to tuck in my shirt! I can't believe I have to spend 5 weeks dressed like that.
Plus, the whole thing takes place in a classroom. It's all lectures, memorization and tests. DOUBLE UGH. Well, I suppose I'll get through it one way or another.

Mary Poppinfus

You know how your dermatologist tells you to shield yourself from the sun with an umbrella, but very few people actually do it? Well, I do it because of my sun allergy. I've been doing it for a while so it doesn't bother me anymore when people laugh, stare, or ask questions. (Which they do, by the way!) Anyway yesterday one of my co-workers called me Mary Poppinfus and I thought it was so funny I might have a hernia laughing.
In other news, yesterday I slept until 5:00 a.m. and today I probably would have except that my crazy, apparently nocturnal daughter was playing with her alarm clock (literally, sitting up on her bed with the light on, playing with the buttons) and it went off at 4:00, and I woke up. She has her first day of school today and she was just setting her alarm before she went to sleep.

3:13

Seriously. I woke up this early in spite of taking an anti-anxiety pill last night before bed. So I wonder, how much of a problem is this? I wake up, drink coffee, and go on my computer. I read the news, the blogs, and maybe play some games. Then I go for a walk before I get ready for work. It's a pleasant morning. When I get home from work, I fix dinner and we eat. Then it's over. I try to keep awake, but rarely can make it after 8:00. I go to sleep. Then I start over. I get between 7 and 8 hours of sleep a night - it's just not through the night like most people. All my life I have required at least 8 - 9 hours, sometimes 10.
So, is it a problem?

3:44

I can't sleep.

Old fart!!!

John McCain is an old fart! He says he is learning how to use that newfangled interweb thingy all by himself.
Seriously!
This is the person that nearly half the country is comfortable with answering the red phone? He can't sign on by himself yet! He'll be completely helpless without his staff!

I get to say 10-4 and mean it

If you had told me at any point in my past that I would have a job requiring me to say 10-4 and meaning it, I would have laughed hard enough to pee my pants! Well guess what. I have to talk on the radio, and I have to use radio codes! I am not used to it yet. I still feel really stupid every time I have to talk. I worry that I sound stupid. How can you not sound stupid saying, "Oh. Ok, 10-4. I mean, 10-4. Ok, thank you." That's the kind of thing I do. I can just see the guys in the security office laughing. At least I didn't say good buddy.

It wasn't a date.

Turns out, this guy wanted information. He is suing our mutual ex-district, because he wasn't treated fairly, and he wanted information about how I was treated before I left. I was treated badly but not nearly as bad as he was.
The thing is I don't want to help him. A job is a job and you just have to keep looking until you find the one that doesn't feel like a job. Bosses sometimes suck, sometimes they are crazy and they treat you like poop. It's just life. I don't want to be a part of a lawsuit like this one.
Also, I feel stupid for thinking that he was interested in me in that way.

I went for a walk

Yesterday I assigned my children a new chore: Take Mom for a walk. I have GOT to exercise every day. I know this. So, I am having them drag my sorry ass off the couch after dinner for a walk. Just a short one, not even a very vigorous one. Just a walk. Quality bonding time, we'll call it.
In other news, I may have a date tonight. I'm just really not sure if it's a date or not. If a guy calls you and says, "I would love to buy you lunch or dinner," is that asking you out on a date? Ugh. Probably yes.
So, that is happening tonight.

Play it safe!

You know those Safe Auto commercials, where they have some idiot talking about how they've had so many accidents, nobody will insure them? Then the Safe Auto person comes on and says, "Play it safe! Call now." I've always hated those commercials. It's like they are saying, we don't care HOW bad you drive! Have as many accidents as you want! Kill people for all we care! Just give us your money!
Yesterday I was driving home there was a car in the left hand lane, going about 20 mph under the speed limit. Everyone is trying to get around the car but the car has pulled up next to a very large cement truck and is going the same speed, which is about 20 mph below the speed limit. Traffic quickly backed up. I could see the car right behind the slow car, flashing their lights and trying to get the slow car to do something about the situation. The slow car driver remained blissfully unaware.
Finally the cement truck turned, and we could all get around the slow car. I noticed while I was shooting daggers with my eyes at the (handicapped and elderly) driver that they had a Safe Auto bumper sticker on their car.
So not only have they had so many accidents they need Safe Auto insurance, they are also advertising for the company. OY VEY!! The whole thing should be illegal. I told my kids they had better take my license away when I start driving like that. Of course they said something to the effect of, hand it over then. *sigh*

Obama leads McCain among people who fart in their sleep

I saw this headline today on Yahoo! news: Obama leads McCain among people who don't have pets.
Seriously, since when do we poll pet owners about their presidential preferences? Why won't the press just say that Obama leads McCain?
It's clear what side Yahoo! is on... the title of the article is actually "Pet Owners Prefer McCain Over Obama." The neutral press has vanished, my friends. Everyone is taking sides this time.

Oh yeah.

A couple of days ago I did something so completely out of character, I am still shocked by it. I bought a hammock.
Why is it so shocking? Well, a hammock has no value other than relaxation. Also, it cost over $100.00. Generally I am loath to spend that kind of money on things that are not essential, especially when they are not essential to me. But it's something I have always wanted. I had the money, and it was on clearance, so I bought it. I could have bought one that was cheaper, but it was also ugly. So not only did I splurge on a hammock, but I extra splurged on a PRETTY hammock. Oh, the humanity!
Here is me in my new hammock:

This black woman??

She (Michelle Obama) needs to reintroduce herself to America so that people won't be terrified that this BLACK WOMAN is going to be doing GOD KNOWS WHAT in the white house???
Watch this clip and tell me you are proud to be an American.
I am so f@%&ing pissed right now, I could spit.

My job is so entertaining.

Seriously, these kids crack me up! The other day I was 10 minutes late for class (it's a whole other Oprah, I was sitting in the teacher's lounge, blissfully unaware that I had to teach that period) and I walked in to find the kids sitting quietly, apparently shocked into submission by my absence. One of them told me that when they are late for something, they get reported or something like that. So I said, let me get you some paper and a pencil. You should definitely report this to somebody. He proceeded to write a two page complaint, listing all my thinking errors and insisting that I take responsibility for my actions. He made me sign at the bottom and write that I was willing to accept feedback from my students about how my tardiness affected them. He used all the lingo the treatment people use with the kids. It was one of the funniest things I have ever seen in my life! For my thinking errors, he wrote something like this:
Selfishness - Ms. Papenfus was late because she wanted to look nice for some criminals who don't care how she looks. (I had told them I was late because I was straightening my hair. I couldn't very well tell them I had completely FORGOTTEN about them)
Uniqueness - Ms. Papenfus thinks it is ok to be late because she should have her hair straight, when nobody else here has that privelege.
He wrote some other stuff that I can't remember. It was so gosh darn funny, I am still laughing 3 days later. The administrators got their hands on it, and after thanking me for taking the time to build a relationship with this student, laughed so hard I think they almost wet their pants.
So, the bottom line is that there is good in this place.

We can all fist bump like Michelle!

We can't look as good while doing it though... check it out.

I got the t-shirt.

My daughter and I found Obama t-shirts on cafepress.com and bought one for each of us. She had a hard time believing I was spending the money, so I told her how important it was to support the candidate we believe in. I also told her she has to wear it every chance she gets because after November it will be just like the bumper stickers we all have to peel off our cars. It is just so exciting to me, to finally have a candidate I can really get behind! I am grateful that my daughters are witnessing this historic election year.

This is good

I'm tired

It's my 4th day and I am exhausted. It's the typical new job exhaustion that comes from learning new things all day. It's ok though, just today and then the weekend. Woohoo!
Today I should be getting my ID card and computer account so I can log in. I talked to the principal yesterday about getting a classroom and pulling a small group of kids out, even though I haven't been through the academy yet. So today I am going to write a plan and she said she will approve it. It's a good thing because I can't observe anymore. I'm just not the observing kind. I need to get in there and screw up and piss people off. You know, be myself.

2nd day was ok too!

I am starting to feel a little more comfortable with the boys. There is so much to learn about what is OK and what isn't. For example they don't get in trouble for throwing around the f-word, but any comment that can be construed as a threat gets them in big trouble, even if they were joking. It's a different world.
The kids' pencils have had the erasers removed because the metal band that holds the eraser to the pencil is too dangerous. Mr. B (the math teacher I am working with) says that if he gives them erasers, they throw them or tear them up or put their gang signs on them. So, we carry erasers around in our pockets and the boys have to ask to use them.
I am starting to think about how I will run my classroom. All this observation is boring but definitely worthwhile.

First day was OK!

It looks like I will be observing until June 30th and then I will start my academy training. That lasts 5 1/2 weeks, then I can get into my classroom. I will have one hella boring summer, but who cares. I am getting paid. Things I learned on my first day:
1. I need to wear clothes that de-emphasize my breasts.
2. The f-word has many more uses than I thought possible.
3. Everything not in my pockets has to be locked up. Therefore don't bring anything that won't fit in pockets.
My stupid ex-principal had the secretary call me yesterday morning and leave a message saying I needed to come in because I had never checked out. Meaning, I never had her (the principal) sign the stupid list of things I was supposed to get done before I left. I did all of them, even had people sign off. Then I threw the list away. If they wanted to inspect my classroom, they had plenty of time. I didn't call back and I'm not going to.

Watch out for Wii Fit

My daughter Jessica turned 17 last week. I got her a laptop computer - too extravagant, I agree. She needs it for an AP class she is taking in her senior year. I figure if she passes the AP test then the money saved on tuition makes the computer well worth it. Anyway, her father rarely buys her birthday presents. This year, for some inexplicable reason, he bought Wii Fit as her birthday present even though it's not really for her, it's for the whole family. She told me she thought he was making a fat joke. I asked if she wanted the game, and she said yes, and I said then it's fine, right? Although I agreed it was insensitive. Not unusual for her father.
So she gets on the balance board to play the game, which then proceeds to tell her she is very nearly FAT. She texted me to tell me that. I wrote back saying if the &*$#% machine is going to tell her she's fat, it's probably going to tell someone like me to go ahead and put a bullet in my head. She said it was cool though because you can set goals for yourself and the machine monitors your progress. Great, I said. Fantastic.
Turns out the stupid game uses BMI index to decide whether people are fat. BMI works perfectly well for adults, or those that are full grown. For anyone who is not through with their development, BMI changes weekly if not monthly because the body is still developing. That means a teenager who is stocky today may be getting ready for a growth spurt which will even them out by next month. It's not a good idea to look at a still developing body, and make a determination about that child's overall health, except in extreme cases. This is another thing parents already know, and have to prepare for every year when we take our daughters to the pediatrician. The pediatrician puts their height and weight on a chart which can tell us at a glance whether we are very nearly fat. Only they call it overweight.
We parents work hard enough to convince our daughters that nothing is wrong with their bodies; that they are beautiful just the way they are; that the people they see on TV and in magazines are not reality; that their bodies are developing NORMALLY. So thanks, Wii, for that. Thanks for telling my daughter she is VERY NEARLY FAT. Thanks for confirming her fears that she is less than a person due to her belly, or legs, or whatever body part she is fixated on these days. By thank you, what I mean to say is FUCK YOU.
I'm not the only parent having a cow, man - you can read more here.
Fucking morons. I'm so pissed.

Last day of school!

I have a sub because I am going to the 8th grade promotion. So I kind of have to dress nice. EW.
Then, I can pack up my classroom and LEAVE!!! WOOOOOOHOOOO!!!!!!

Well I got through yesterday in one piece. I went to bed at 8:30 though, I was so tired. Now just three and a half more days to go!
This year I am saying goodbye to kids that I have taught for two years. Some of them paid me the biggest compliment I think I have ever had... yesterday, as soon as they got their yearbooks, they got a pass to come to my classroom and asked me to sign. It was so awesome. Of course I was in the middle of teaching a lesson so I had to say no, I'll sign it Monday! But it made me feel really good. It's difficult to describe the emotions of letting these kids go. I've loved them unconditionally, made them work so hard many of them came to tears at one point or another, and watched them grow both physically and emotionally. They are ready for high school, most of them, without a doubt. The ones who aren't ready have been crippled by parents who refuse to let their kids be responsible for their own stuff. Not much to be done about that. They are the vast minority.
Watching them move on to high school is kind of like watching your own kid when they make some huge accomplishment, like the first time they ride a two-wheeler alone or talk themselves through solving a problem. It's a whole lot of pride, mixed with sadness knowing you'll probably never see most of them again, and hopefulness for the future of our society because these are the kids who will be in charge in 10 years and some of them are just brilliant. They come in to my classroom shorter than me, tiny, scared little things with zero self-confidence and afraid of everything! They leave much taller than me, holding the world in the palms of their hands, and believing they can do anything. It's quite a sight. I wish everyone could see it!

Today will be crazy!

All the 8th graders are going on a field trip today, so I'm spending all day with the 7th graders. They get their yearbooks today as well, which adds to the fun. I remember yearbook day when I was in school. It was hard to think about anything else. I think I'll give them time at the beginning of each period to look at them and sign them. I guess I am supposed to teach today, but I just don't see a whole lot getting done! Maybe we'll just play games.

I had a dream...

Last night I had a dream about my principal. In my dream, she called me into her office. She looked very serious. She said, "I know that you are planning on going out tonight and getting completely wasted." I said, "No, I don't have any plans like that..." She said, "I know that you are stressed and you want to blow off some steam." She was talking like she was angry about it though. And I said, "Well, let's say I am planning on tying one on. What are you worried about? That I won't come to work tomorrow?" She said, "Well..." and I said, "I am coming to work tomorrow, and the next day and the next, until the school year is over." The whole thing was so weird. Then I woke up.

I don't have anything interesting to say.

But I still feel like I need to blog. So be warned, if anyone even reads this thing: everything you are about to read is very uninteresting!
Six more days with the students left to go. They are becoming so difficult to deal with. Hyper and out of control... ugh! It takes a supreme act of patience to get through each period. Sometimes when I get really upset and I have to work extra hard not to lose my temper and just start screaming at them, it feels like my heart is palpitating or skipping beats or something. It's scary.
I have this elective class where I am teaching them how to solve linear equations using the graphing calculator. They have learned a ton, and the class always goes by fast, but they are still in shock every single day when they have an assignment to do. They think since it's an elective, they shouldn't have to actually do anything. So every day is a huge struggle. Well yesterday they wouldn't even line up right. I made them line up three times. They just didn't give a crap. So I said, "Give me a thumbs up when you are ready to come in quietly. If you want to act like 3rd graders, then that is how you'll be treated." I pointed at the first student and he gave me a thumbs down. I said, "Go to the office." I pointed at the next one, and he pointed his thumb to the side. I said, "Go to the office." The third student did the same thing. Well I can't very well send all of them to the office, and they know it. So I called the other two back, and we went inside. They thought they won... until I passed out the decimal worksheets. They sat and did worksheet after worksheet for 40 minutes. No talking, no calculator, no way to make the time go faster. The little shits. So I hope today goes better.
The 8th graders, on the other hand, even though their behavior leaves much to be desired - are factoring quadratic equations using an area model and a graphical representation. These are skills most college algebra students don't have. So I am really proud of them, because they learned it.

7 days

7 days left after today. I'm getting through the school day hour by hour at this point! The kids are completely off the wall. One good thing about the school I am going to next, there is no summer break! There is no break, period!

19 days

I am finding it easier to ignore my asshat principal. I'm not hiding in my room anymore or keeping a low profile. If she wants to come after me, then by all means! I wish I could just tell her. Give me what you got. You'll come out on the wrong end of that tangle, I can promise you that. I've definitely come up against worse than a passive- agressive, cowardly superbitch. I've got math teaching to do, so get out of my way.
Speaking of math teaching, I am pushing my students so hard it's not even funny. It is one good way of keeping them from noticing there are only 18 days of school left. I'm treating the 8th graders like high school algebra students, and the 7th graders like 8th graders. The only thing I am not doing is piling on the homework. I keep giving them problems that are just above their current level of math, and then putting them in groups and making them struggle through it. I'm not helping them. They are exhausted by the time they leave. And sometimes pissed at me. That's ok... they are learning. Not just math, but learning how to problem solve and get by on their own. I only step in when I see a group getting ready to come to blows. They are doing great! I'm so proud of them.

Can I call it a harvest?

I got all these tomatoes from my plant today! It's almost enough for a salad!!

21 more days

That's all I have to do... just 21 more days. It is increasingly stressful at work. I called my principal on Sunday with a nasty cold, to let her know I wouldn't be in on Monday. She didn't get me a sub, so the rest of my team had to cover my classes. She had her secretary call me Monday morning to check and see if I was really sick. Then when I got mad, she said I misunderstood the phone call. Yesterday after one of my classes I was answering questions about the homework right after the dismissal bell, and I looked up to see her leaving my classroom. A few minutes later I got an email saying I needed to be at my door between classes. She saw me talking to the students... what am I supposed to do, ignore them so I can stand in the doorway?? The only thing that makes me feel better is to keep packing up my room, so that on the last day I can leave faster than a speeding bullet. I'm not going to the stupid pot-luck, either.
In the meantime I just keep repeating that saying about people being about as happy as they make up their minds to be, and make my mind up to be happy.

It's almost official.

I got a call yesterday from the people at the state, offering me the job at the correctional school. The salary is higher than I expected and they are very eager to get me on board. They wanted me to give two weeks notice. I'm certain those positions are so difficult to fill that when they get somebody who is qualified, they want to get right on it. I am going to the school on May 7th to shadow the math teacher so I can see what my days will look like. Now I just have to get through the corrections officer academy.... ugh. They had better not make me run.

6 more weeks.

I am counting down the days until I am finished at my school. On Friday, there was an announcement after lunch telling all students of a certain teacher to report to the library instead of class. His nameplate was removed from the door almost immediately. The door was locked. His classroom is right next door to mine, so I went through the adjoining workroom and asked him what was going on. He was utterly bewildered, packing everything in boxes in a complete daze. He said he didn't know what happened - they just told him there had been some parent complaints and they did not want him to finish out the school year. He was to pack everything and go, right then.
Common sense tells me he must have done something really bad, but wouldn't he know why he was being asked to leave, if that was the case? For my own peace of mind, I need to know that he did something to justify the way he was treated. But nobody will say anything. It's like he didn't exist.
The culture of fear at this district is simply intolerable. I hope I am not next... but then again, if they fire me I won't have to count down any more days!

Thank Goddess, Marianne....

They finally came up with a notebook suitable for us.
...each page will be triple-perforated and seven-hole-punched, which Mead representative Kurt Fleming said is "essential for the 21st-century graduate student." The notebook will also have more spirals. Asked to explain why this particular change was made, Fleming responded, "This notebook was designed with graduate students in mind."

OMG, AIMS

My students were laughing at me today because I was mocking their text language. I said something like, "OMG, NYD!" (oh my god, no you didn't) and they were shocked! Then they started laughing and asking if I knew what this meant and what that meant, and they wondered how I knew about all of this?
So, being the wet blanket I am, I brought the whole thing to a screeching halt by saying, "OMG, AIMS 2mro!! Let's get back to work."
BWAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!

Oh, Yeah!!!

Another reason to love being single!

AIMS Stress

I am handling it better this year, because I knew it was coming. Still, I am stressed about the testing next week. I continue to be more stressed by the administration than the actual testing. We've had two meetings so far and have signed two documents saying we will follow instructions, we won't look at the test, won't help the kids, etc. One of the documents says that if I do any of these things, I will lose my teaching license. So yeah, I really hate this time of year. I will be glad when it's over.
On a happier note, the state called yesterday and said that I passed the impact test and we are moving along towards a job offer teaching math to the juvenile delinquents. I have to fill out this ten page background check, which is mostly blank. I looked at it last night when I was nearly finished filling it out, and thought, man! On paper, I am REALLY boring. Even the part where you say how often you drink alcohol, I realized it's maybe once a month nowadays. What the hell? I'm old and boring! And I am going to teach would-be criminals!

Last day of March

Time marches on. This is the last week of school before students take their AIMS test. This year, I have come to a realization about the stress I normally feel about this time. I thought I was originating the stress - I was worrying about how the kids would perform, and stressing myself out. This year, however, my 3rd year around this block, I am not worried. I've been preparing all year, and the kids are ready. Since I am not worried, I am able to notice what is happening around me. The administration is worried. I wish I hadn't noticed it, because it's really irritating me. Whatever problems our school has that might affect the kids' scores cannot be solved in the final two weeks before the test. So why all of a sudden are we talking about NOT REVIEWING for the AIMS? Seriously, we have had two meetings, where they told us we are NOT REVIEWING for the AIMS. And we've been given lots of tips about what to do while we are NOT REVIEWING. And how to NOT REVIEW for the AIMS effectively. Lots of interactive ideas about how to NOT REVIEW.
We've also been told and emailed ad nauseum about how important the kids' scores are. Like we didn't already know? People, if I wasn't preparing for this all year, there is no way I would be ready if I started preparing now! They are telling us how to make our room a great testing environment. They are having a door decorating contest, where the kids are supposed to decorate the inside of the classroom door with encouraging sayings and mood lifters. Do they think the kids aren't on to them?
Anyway, the good part is that I wasn't doing this to myself the last 2 years. I had a LOT of help from the people who are NOT HELPING ME PREPARE.

Juvy

I spent Friday at the Juvenile Correctional Facility where I am applying for a job. The situation was disorganized and kind of hectic, but it was a really good window into what the job will be like. The kids looked like kids. They didn't seem unhappy. The teachers looked like teachers. They didn't seem unhappy either. The staff was friendly, both with me and with each other. I got to see the chow hall (ew) and the chapel, which as far as I can see is used for everything except a chapel. I am going back to observe the math teacher for a couple of days, so I can see what a typical day looks like. Barring disaster, I will probably start this job sometime over the summer. The pay is great, there is student loan payoff, a bilingual stipend I might qualify for, and hopefully I can keep my master's program. So, for the time being, I am not worried about next year.

It's time, Hillary.

Time to drop out of the race. We knew this day was coming. I know that you have been working for this your whole life, and I know your heart is broken. It will mend. You have to put the welfare of the party above your personal goals. It's hard, I know. I am crying right alongside you. I hope that before I die, there will be a woman President. But I know that person is not you. I think you know it too. I'm sorry, I truly am. I wish things were different.

Did John McCain swallow George Bush?

Because he's starting to sound exactly like our rose-colored-glasses-wearing, floating down de-nial river, head-in-the-sand president. This is what he had to say today:
McCain says US succeeding in Iraq
Really? Four more years of this??? Really???

This is winning?

As of today, 4,000 young men and women have died in the "War on Terror." I find it appalling that according to President Bush and John McCain, we are winning. The troop surge was successful. Why do they say that? Because we've only lost 4,000 troops when the number could be much higher? Five years we have been over there, trying to force our ideas of what is right onto a people that neither want nor need it. Liberators, that's what we'll be, they said when we went in. When the people failed to be liberated and instead began aiming their weapons at our troops, they said we just need more troops! Now the death rate has gone down somewhat and for some reason the mainstream media has stopped reporting how many troops are dying, until we hit 4,000 and all of a sudden it's a story again. This is winning? What if it turns out we won... what did we win? The hatred and fear of other countries. A death toll of 4,000 and counting. The liberation of billions of dollars that could have been put to use right here, where our economy has gone to the toilet. Oh, and let's not forget that we bought into the biggest bluff in the history of mankind, and swooped in to stop nuclear weapons making in a country where the technology and materials were nonexistent, based on a big fat lie that our President couldn't help but believe. Yeah, we definitely won that poker game. What exactly are we winning, Mr. Bush? Mr. McCain? Because nothing that has happened so far has made this country any safer. The guy who masterminds the actual terror plots is still out there, masterminding. We've already lost.

News in Tucson

The news situation in Tucson has always been bad. When I moved here I noticed that the local stations deliberately avoided reporting on anything happening in Phoenix. It is as if they feel acknowledging the existence of the capital city might interfere with Tucson's identity as the Alternative Capital City. The newscasters here speak in barely functional language, stumble over the most basic of sentences, and cannot seem to figure out where the emphasis should be. It's a good thing they don't report on foreign affairs either, because I can't imagine how they might disgrace themselves with names like Sarkozy and Ma Ying-jeou. As long as I have been watching and reading the news here, the policy when deciding what to report on is clearly, "If it doesn't happen in Tucson, then it doesn't happen."
So I depend largely on the internet for my news, since I don't have cable. This morning, while browsing the headlines, I noticed under the Local News section of my Google News page that the Tucson Citizen has this headline today:

Services open, closed Easter and Monday

What the hell?? It doesn't even make sense. Another case in point: Obama's speech on Tuesday is given exactly one mention, and it comes after an announcement about the new no-kill dog and cat shelter and a fascinating read about a job fair for veterans. It gets better - this is the first line of the article:

"The brother can turn a phrase." That was congressman Raúl Grijalva's review of Barack Obama's speech on race that had the nation talking this week.

Oh, my GOD. The embarrassment. Does Raul think that since he is Hispanic, he can refer to Barak as a "brother" because Barak is black? Raul Grijalva, si se puede make an ass of yourself. Do us all a favor and remember this: Better to be silent and thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

There are a lot of things I love about Tucson, but sometimes I wonder if it is worth being associated with the news organizations here.

Bill Richardson

Governor Richardson announced his support for Senator Barack Obama today. His endorsement could not have come at a better time. The press reports that Gov. Richardson made his decision after being moved by Sen. Obama's recent speech on race relations in our country.
I emailed Gov. Richardson to thank him, and I urge you to do so as well.

stupid CNN

Stupid CNN finally added Barack Obama to their "Hot Topics" category. I wonder if they are going to turn.

Hot Topics » Election Center 2008 • The Political Ticker • Barack Obama • Hillary Clinton • John McCain • more topics »

Proof match.com is no good for me

Online Dating Helping Pathetic Women Get Their Hopes Crushed More Efficiently

I didn't know birds ate those...

HOUSTON—According to an official NASA report released Saturday, nearly 32 percent of all prayers exiting Earth are deflected off satellites orbiting the planet—ultimately preventing the discharged requests for divine intervention from ever making it to the Gates of Heaven. "After impact with the satellite, these diverted prayers typically plummet back into the atmosphere, where they either burn up or eventually land, unanswered, in a body of water," the report read in part. "Of the remaining prayers, research confirms 64 percent fail to make it past the stratosphere because they aren't prayed hard enough, 94 percent of those with enough momentum are swallowed by a supermassive black hole at the center of the Milky Way galaxy, and 43 percent are eaten by birds." The report concluded that, of the 170 billion prayers issued last month, one made it to God, whose reply was intercepted by a hurricane and incorrectly delivered to a Nigerian man who reportedly did not know what to do with his brand-new Bowflex machine.

I'm not a prosophobe, MOM

And I can prove it. A prosophobe (or whatever you called me) would wait until the last possible moment to go to disgusting Wal-Mart and buy the digital signal converters. Then, even if the prosophobe bought the digital converters, there's no way she would hook them up until the last possible moment. I still have until February of next year, and yet here I am with digital television signals. So there! Hmmph.
Nevermind the fact that I was so grouchy about buying the damn things I almost bit the Wal-Mart guy's head off. I was very hostile.
Also, nevermind that I am still livid about being forced to have digital TV even though I am perfectly happy with my analog signal! But it's not about being afraid of progress. It's about being forced to pay for something that should be free. The reason we have to watch all those damn television commercials is because the companies who buy that airtime are paying for me to have the signal, in return for my watching their ad. People who buy cable are being shafted. Are there less commercials on those networks? I think not! If anything there are more! So the networks are making money hand over fist from the advertisers, and you're paying them for the privilege of watching their commercials! Why don't I pay someone good money to sit next to me and beat me over the head with a stick? Because that's what it amounts to, in my book.
That said, the digital signal is nice. It's clear and clean, and I have 17 channels now instead of 7. (Ok, so half of them are Spanish.) The converter boxes were $50. With the $40 coupons from the government, I had to pay a total of $20 for the two boxes. It's a one-time expense that should not have bothered me, but it did because that was Wal-Mart's profit. Ew.
What really makes me mad is that there are millions of people who were perfectly happy with their analog signals, and five channels, who will go ahead and buy cable because it's easier than getting the coupons, buying the converter boxes, and setting them up. Not to mention the pressure of society saying, "You're afraid of progress! That's why you don't want to pony up for a service you don't want!" There are millions, literally, of senior citizens and otherwise homebound people who will still be shocked and dismayed next February when their TV doesn't work anymore. So ok, that's progress, yahoo. And I'm not even going to START on what it means for society at large when not receiving television signals is tantamount to Chinese water torture.
If you had asked me a few years ago, I never would have thought that I would have to be dragged by the hair, kicking and screaming, into the digital age.

And so it begins.

For the last 2 nights in a row, I have had teaching dreams. The kind I usually have right before the new school year begins. I've got all these kids everywhere, and they are roaming around and being naughty, and I can't get them to listen to me. As soon as I get a group of kids seated and settled in one area of the room, the other areas erupt in naughtiness (the room is always the size of a damn airplane hangar). Invariably the principal walks in and sees the chaos, and then I wake up. I guess I am having the dreams now because I am not sure where I will be at the beginning of next school year.
Maybe I will end up at Raytheon, making missiles, and then I can dream about mass destruction instead of teaching. Or teaching at Juvy - I bet those dreams would be interesting!

More Fun with Craig's List

I read the personals on Craig's List - for entertainment value only! Today there were some real beauts! So I decided I should share:

I had a girlfriend in NC and she had a bad heart and her health insurance would not cover the operation she need. Well not all of it and she could not get the Dotor she need to do her heart operation. Well we made qa deal and we married so she could use my insurance and now she well we filed the LEGALLY separation and she has her life and I have my. Divorce will be finally in 11 months and until then she uses my insurance. So that last should be 4th marriage but it was a contract and I can send it to you if want to see it.

I sincerely have a preference for women with small tiny breast (AA or A), but have BIG IDEAS & SINCERE INTENTIONS.

I am kind and considerate and thoughtful and a gentle man that still opens the car door for someone or puts down the foot pegs for her to jump on the back of the bike. I like times at the river or a lake I love riding through the country side looking at are wonderful world of nature.

I'm for real, kind, considerate, sensual and caring. But I don't want to fall-in-love, or deal with the drama of dating. I want to be your go-to guy. Obviously I'm not going to lay out a picture of myself for the world to see. I'm professional and have some scrupals.

I saved the best for last...


I’m seeking an intelligent SWF, late 20s- to late 40s, one whose sweet and good-hearted and fun to talk to, but who sometimes needs a reminder of how reasonable young ladies are supposed to behave. Be assured, whether it’s delivered on the spot, or whether you’re sent to your room with a smack on the bottom and made to wait for me to “deal with you,” your fate will be sealed.

I'm going to juvy.

I hope. I am applying for a job teaching in a secure school - that's the fancy term they use these days for juvy! It pays a LOT more money. Plus, there are probably not a lot of parents I will have to deal with! Ha! They might even be motivated to stay in the classroom, if the alternative is their cell.
So, I'm applying. The job doesn't close until June 30 so there's plenty of time to wait. *sigh*

Wednesday Bitchery

Today's late bitchery is about parents who believe everything their kid says, even when it doesn't make sense. Parents, listen up. Your kid will lie to get out of trouble. If you have to believe either your kid or the adult that spends more time each day with them than you do, PICK THE ADULT. Here's an example of what I am talking about. I give a homework assignment. Your kid doesn't do it. When I ask why, he says it's because he didn't feel like it. A few days or possibly weeks later, you check your kid's grades online and notice the zero grade. You ask your kid what assignment it was and why it's missing. Kid tells you he has no idea, he turned it in, Ms P. must have lost it, etc. etc. ad nauseum. You believe your kid, and call the principal demanding to know why this clearly incompetent boob is pretending to teach your kid math! Principal calls a meeting! Everyone is angry, but most of all the incompetent boob! I hate you all.

Too good to be true!!

Please, please, forces of the universe! Let it be true!!

I hit the wall

... with the soup. I can't eat any more soup for a while. Today was supposed to be the last day anyway. If I am not purified by now, it's not happening. I finally stopped having to pee every hour on the 5th day, so maybe that is a sign. I'm just going to avoid sugar and flour, and other than that eat what I want. If I could get some exercise back into my day that would be great. Don't know when I will be ready to do that. Maybe never.
I'm becoming resigned to my life as a spinster. One really great thing about that is I can do what I want, when I want, and not have to worry about taking anyone else into consideration. So, I guess after I get my finances straightened out, which will be after I find a higher paying job, then I should start doing some things I want to do. Like see the Louvre, and Mount Rushmore. There is no shame in going those places by myself.

Day 5

Yesterday went really well. No cravings, no hunger, no feeling deprived. I think I am probably not losing weight because I'm not suffering... but I don't know because I don't have a scale. Maybe if I try on some clothes to see if they are looser.
Today I am supposed to eat beef. If I stay on this diet, I think I'll start referring to the days of the week by what I'm eating, like those Subway commercials. "I still need to do homework. It's due on beef and tomatoes!" or, "I can't have dinner with you on brown rice. I want to stay home and watch the political coverage."
HAHAHA!! I crack myself up.
Anyway I had another baby dream night before last. I've had them about once a month, ever since my surgery. It's never the same dream, but in the dreams I have somehow or another acquired an infant and I'm just holding it and hugging it and loving it. Another common theme is that the baby always cries at some point, and it doesn't stress me out at all. In real life, babies crying tend to stress me out. So the reaction in this dream is unusual. I just comfort the baby, and it stops crying. Inevitably, the day following the dream I am very, very sad and I think about the dream often. I think there must be something really interesting going on in my psyche!

Day 3

My BFF wanted me to do this purification eating plan with her. Lord knows I got nothing but fat to lose, so I said OK. Today is day 3, so I'm eating soup, veggies, and fruit. The strange thing is, I have been able to stay on it so far and it hasn't been miserable. I'm not going to bed hungry, I'm not fighting horrid cravings, and I had a slight headache the first day that went away and never came back. I was extremely exhausted the last 2 days, but today I woke up and bounced out of bed. That hasn't happened in quite a while... not since I was eating well, I guess.
Today is Friday so we'll see how the weekend goes.

LOL!

This campaign for the democratic nominee is more fun than I have ever had with politics. It is endlessly entertaining! The press is often the funniest part! Like this example from the NYT:
The higher the turnout in a district, the more delegates it has to offer, meaning that urban areas like Austin — where Mr. Obama has been received in recent days with the kind of fervor usually accorded only Willie Nelson — will award a large number.
Comparing the popularity of Barak Obama to that of Willie Nelson! LOL!!!! Now where, and when, I ask you, would you come across something like that?

My BFF

My BFF and her daughter are coming today from Pinetop. I'm so excited! We are going to Kartchner Caverns, and then visiting the Mission del San Xavier, and then going to Tubac because I heard there is some really cool stuff there. She has to leave Sunday morning, boo.

Why the favoritism?

I don't like CNN very much. And I don't understand why the media is not expected to be unbiased anymore. I thought that the foundation of good reporting was objectivity. Hillary Clinton spoke first in the debate last night, and she also spoke last. Not fair. On CNN's election center website, near the top of the page, it says:
"Hot Topics » Election Center 2008 • The Political Ticker • Hillary Clinton • John McCain • more topics »"
Definitely not fair and not objective. They are clearly biased toward Clinton. What is the reason for this?

It's official.

I have officially caved in and entered the technology age. I have high-speed, wireless internet. Here's the kicker - it's cheaper than the land line and dial-up ISP I was using! So, now I guess I can start posting on my blog again. About a month ago, my desktop computer got infected with a virus. I couldn't download an anti-virus program to combat it because the dial-up server kept disconnecting before the download finished. It was a mess. I worked on it and worked on it but I could not fix it. So I wiped the hard drive and now it's in the garage, waiting to be donated. Then I realized I could get high-speed internet cheaper. The guy from Cox came and hooked it up today. Woohoo!
But, I am not getting cable. So don't even ask.

Friday Gratitude

I am grateful for finding yoga classes. I can't go very often once work starts again but wow, they are great! It doesn't feel like I am doing much of anything and yet I break a sweat, and my muscles are sore from head to toe so I must be doing something right. When I leave I feel so calm and peacful, it is incredible. So thank you Universe for sending those.

Wednesday Bitchery

You know what I hate? I hate when skinny people try to talk to me about my weight. I suppose said skinny people are trying to "help" me because they "love" me. Know what else I hate? I hate that my weight is such a public problem. I can't hide my food problem the way that people can hide their drinking or drug or other problems. My food problem is right out there for everyone to see. I can't even imagine what it must look like from the outside in. All I know is that sometime over the summer I completely lost it and started gaining weight, and that train is still speeding along. And I cannot stand it. It's hard enough to deal with it myself. To have people trying to talk to me about it just exacerbates the situation. Especially when the people who are trying to talk about it have never had a food problem. If they start to gain weight, they just eat less and exercise more. They don't understand why I don't just do that too. Well skinny people, if you ever figure out what it is in your brain or body that allows you to make that decision and then just do it, let me know. Otherwise please just leave me alone. I'm eating.

Is this considered stalking?

Breastalicious called me last night to wish me a happy birthday. I am disturbed by this on so many levels. We went on one date, back in April. Why does he still have my number? Furthermore how does he know when my birthday is? And why, 8 months after the fact, does he suddenly feel the need to apologize for making a bad impression? I am SERIOUSLY creeped out.

Friday Gratitude

I have been very busy preparing for the holiday. I have faced many stumbling blocks. Will my bananas ripen in time to make the bread? How much paprika should I put in the herb paste for the $120 rib roast? Will the farmer's market have garlic on Saturday or will I have to buy it at the store?
Last night on the news I saw a family in the middle east who has been displaced from their home because of sectarian violence. They have faced many stumbling blocks. Where will they go after the holiday? The landlord is kicking them out. Will the father be able to find a job? The mother has been killed. Will they be able to have dinner tonight? There is no money, and even if there was, there is no food to buy.
The father had just gone grocery shopping and he spread out what he was able to buy so that the camera could get a good shot. It was all cans. A can of peas, a can of some sort of meat. There were maybe 6 cans of food and who knows how long it will sustain the family.
I am profoundly grateful for where I live and who I am. I am grateful for my conscience, which is demanding that I spend more of my time and resources helping those less fortunate. I am grateful that I have my family and the biggest of my worries as far as they are concerned, is who will be the first to cry on Christmas. I am grateful for the opportunity to redefine "stumbling blocks" and realize that what I have are inconveniences at best. I am even grateful for the media, without whom I would not be able to have this attack of conscience. I pray that the universe will help that family and all the other ones who are struggling. Please, help them find some peace.

Wednesday Bitchery

This Wednesday's Bitchery is about itchy sweaters. Let's recap where we are as a society. We have people living in outer space. We are finding possibly habitable rocky planets around other suns. The FDA is considering whether it should warn people when they are buying cloned meat for their dinner table. And we can't figure out a material to make sweaters with that doesn't ITCH??? I mean, people. Seriously. Something must be done. Preferably by next Christmas since that's the only time I wear sweaters.

Friday Gratitude

I am grateful for several things! First, I got an A in that master's class. Whew! Glad that's over with. Secondly, I am going to see the Indigo Girls on Monday night courtesy of my favorite brother-in-law! Ok, he's my only brother-in-law, but still. What a nice thing to do! Third, I got the day after the concert off work. YES! An extra day to myself to get ready for the holiday. Fourth, and here's something the universe sent me and it is profound. You know those riding chairs they sell to old people? Kind of like wheelchairs but they are electric, to increase mobility? On my way to the craft store this past week, driving along a very busy road, I saw an old man who had tipped his little scooter over in the crosswalk, and he was trapped inside the chair part, struggling furiously. He must have been terrified... there were cars whizzing by and even though he was in the crosswalk, he couldn't get up. So I put the hazard lights on immediately and pulled to the shoulder to help him. I went over and made a joke about taking the corner too fast, and smiled at him, and he grabbed my hand. I put my arm around his waist and pulled him up. At that moment I had a flash of memory of helping my grandmother up. And I was grateful for my grandmother, I think for the first time in my life, because I knew exactly what to do for this little old man. I got him settled back in his chair and he went on his merry way, and I could see why he tipped over because he was the Mario Andretti of the old people scooters. I am humbled by the wisdom of the universe and thankful to finally have a good feeling associated with my grandmother. It's about freaking time.

I have a Thursday Divinity!

I went to a cookie exchange. What is more divine than this? Nothing, I tell you!

Wednesday Bitchery

Today I am bitching about Secret Santa. Every year I think, "How fun! I'll sign up." Then, I proceed to do all kinds of fun things for the person I drew, while the person who drew me does NOTHING. Then, I think, "They'll make up for it on the last day with something really great." Then I get "The Chipmunks Sing Christmas" or something lame like that. Why? Why? Why???

Quote for the Week

"This is the Nixon administration without the competence." - Joe Biden

Go Joe! If you had a vagina, I would totally change my vote.

Want to see how I'm spending my weekend?

I am writing my stupid, boring twelve- to fourteen-page paper that all sounds a lot like this:

Geometry is that part of mathematics dealing with size and relative positions of shapes and the space they occupy. The use of language is important to geometry because it requires descriptions of the objects being studied in very specific terms. Geometric language is rife with polysemy. For example, consider the 8th grade geometry standard, “Identify the planar geometric figure that is the result of a given rigid transformation” (Arizona Department of Education). This standard is not written in student-friendly language, but the language used gives some insight into the vocabulary necessary to master the standard. The everyday language definition of the word “transformation” is generally used to describe an object that changes into something else. The technical definition as it applies to geometry is very different. In the case of the standard mentioned previously, the object retains its original size and shape, but moves to a different location by way of a set of specific steps. The word “rigid” usually implies a lack of movement. In this case, it identifies a specific type of movement on the coordinate plane. Geometry includes conjectures, theorems, and proofs that are constructed of the language of geometry in the technical math register. Learning at this stage requires a knowledge and understanding of an entirely new vocabulary, plus the technical meanings of words that may already be familiar to the student, but take on an entirely new meaning in the context of geometry.

Now, don't you feel glad you have your life and not mine?

Kangaroos can save the world!

Well, more specifically, kangaroo farts can save the world.

Ok, seriously?

I do not want to go to work. I'm not even sure I want to be a teacher anymore. Yesterday ended with a kid saying "fuck you" on his way out the door. In front of the rest of the kids. I am so embarrassed, and that pisses me off. Why should I be embarrassed for HIS bad behavior? I can't figure out what is happening with my emotions. All I know is I am really reacting badly to this

Wednesday Bitchery!

Today's bitchery is about standardized testing, as I am prone to complain about it at the end of every quarter. Specifically, my district's testing. Specifically, the 7th grade test for 2nd quarter. The tests always contain multiple mistakes. For example, the 7th grade test I am administering has one question that lists the same answer choice for A and B. That same test has pattern questions, and one is to find the next two terms of the pattern. Later on in the test, another question lists the exact same pattern, including one of the missing terms, and asks the students to identify the pattern. Now, whether or not these kids will have their shit together enough to realize that the 2nd problem gives away the answer to the 1st is questionable. All it does is make the results of those 3 questions invalid. So I told the curriculum person at my school that those 3 items were invalid, and he didn't know what I meant. I had to explain to him that on those 3 items, we won't know whether the kids got it right because the test gives the answers away, or they got it right because they knew the content. I don't expect the average person to understand this... I do expect the curriculum specialist to already know it. Why is it that he is in a position of authority and I know more about testing than he does??? The 8th grade test has five invalid items. It wouldn't be a big deal except that we send kids to summer school based on the results of this test. If there are 45 questions, and 5 of them are bad, then statistically our error margin for sending kids to reteach is 10%. Kind of high, especially if it were my kid. I probably shouldn't even be talking about it, because I really don't want the parents to find out. But my GODDESS, if this isn't worthy of a bitchery, then I don't know what is.

I cried at work.

This last quarter I had a math reteach class. All the kids from the other team who failed their first math benchmark came to me every day for 40 minutes to relearn the math. Then they retook the benchmark test. Some of them made great strides and did really well. That's not why I cried. A few of them actually did worse. That's why I cried. How can you come to me for 40 minutes every day and then take a test, and do worse than you did the first time around? HOW?? Either they are sadistic little shits and just made pretty pictures while filling in the bubbles, or they seriously did not learn a single thing, and not only that but they UN-learned what they knew when they came in. All that planning, all that effort and energy expended on my part, and this is what I get back??!! I just have to focus on the ones that did well. Focus. Focus.

Last day of school!

Tonight is my last U of A class for this semester. WOO HOO!!! Now, that doesn't mean I am done with the class. I still have to finish writing the gargantuan, stupefyingly boring paper and turn it in by December 14th. But no more Monday nights spent with the melange of idiocy that is my group. At least until January.

It's December!

Yay, it's December and I'm so happy about it! December means cold weather, a break from school, a break from teaching, tons of cooking, presents, my birthday, the list is endless! I am grateful for the wind and rain last night even though they kept waking me up. Now I don't have to water my outside plants this weekend. There might be snow on the mountains. I will look when I am on my way to the farmer's market. Monday is my last day of class at the university this semester. My group has a 30-minute presentation to get through. We got together Wednesday to rehearse, and the professor was with us and made suggestions. There is one member of the group who has no independent thought and she reads the slides, but what am I going to do? It's 25% of my grade but I am pretty sure that the professor isn't going to knock me for my group being stupid. I hope I hope I hope. I have to keep a 3.5 GPA in order to retain my fellowship, and this is my first class, so if I get a B I'm in trouble. It's kind of a lot of pressure. I just have to let go and do the best I can. My paper is due December 14th and if I do a really good job on it, then I probably don't have to worry about my grade.

What's your pirate name?

I'm Whisky Wendy the Hermit!!

Is it Christmas?

hee hee!!

FG

My Friday Gratitude was riding home last night with the windows down, smoking and listening to the Indigo Girls with my sister. It was totally awesome, dude.

The finished product

Here is Emily's gingerbread house:


And here is Jessica's:

Make the pie higher!

This is a poem composed of quotes by our fearless leader, George H.W. Bush.

I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It's a world of madmen
And uncertainty
And potential mental losses.

Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the internet
Become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?

They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish
Can coexist.

Families is where our nation finds hope
Where our wings take dream.
Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize society!
Make the pie higher!
Make the pie higher!


Go ahead, look it up. It's true.

Gingerbread Village!

The houses are ready! Yay!!!!!

That is IT, Tim Russert!

I am not watching your show any more. I have changed the channel in the middle of your vainglorious braggery for the last time. It's the middle of November in one of the most interesting presidential campaign seasons in history, and you choose to spend HALF YOUR SHOW not moderating, but tooting your own bloated horn! You over-latted, bug-eyed, egotistical piece of poop! You have made me do something I really didn't want to do, and that is watch Fox News Sunday. Let me know if you ever decide to go back into politics instead of celebrity endorsements and self-important infomercials about your own show, you swaggering, narcissistic windbag! You, sir, are an IDIOT!

FG

I hear thunder in the distance! It's so exciting!
I'm really thankful for the three-day week, next week. I already have my planning done. Also, my kids want to help me bake the gingerbread houses. Yay!! The holidays are here!

I knew it!

Another reason to hate Starbucks.

List for next weekend

1. Make gingerbread houses for kids to decorate
2. Work on article synthesis for master's class
3. Clean filter for ac/heating unit
4. Clean living and dining rooms, along with rest of house which will again be dirty by the weekend (ok, why again am I doing that?)
5. Lesson plan so I don't have to spend the week frantically planning day by day like I will be doing this week
6. Go to farmer's market for sweet potatoes and green beans, to make yummy thanksgiving dishes (southern style green beans, y'all!)

So the holiday weekend was largely successful. The trees are trimmed, the brush and bulky trash a distant memory (although the sore muscles of the trimming ordeal linger)
and the kitchen light bulbs are changed. The grocery shopping is done and the meals planned although it remains to be seen whether they will actually be cooked. The laundry is at least clean, if not folded or put away.

List for tomorrow

1. Lesson plan for next week, including a formal lesson plan for observation by cognitive coach (asst principal is NEXT week, not this week)
2. Think about working on article synthesis paper for Master's class
3. Clean living and dining rooms
4. Grocery shop
5. Make gingerbread houses for nieces and nephews to decorate on turkey day
6. Clean filter in ac/heating unit
7. fold and put away laundry done last week and this week

You know how it is when you spend three hours doing something you are not used to doing, and then your muscles scream in pain for the next three days? Yeah, I think that's what is coming. I pruned the rosebushes and the two trees in the front yard, and I hurt all over! I cleaned the bathroom and kitchen, and did some laundry. Now I absolutely have to lesson plan tomorrow. You would think I might choose that rather than the pruning, but I didn't. What does that tell ya??