More stupid academy

Today we are learning CPR and first aid so maybe it won't be quite so boring. We have to actually do CPR on a dummy. Ugh. Picture doing that in a starched white shirt and creased pants. YUCK!
It's seriously so bad, I want to quit the freaking job to avoid going. But, people who have been through it keep telling me it will pick up after the first 2 weeks are over. I really, really hope so.

Death of a Student

One of my mentor teachers told me before I actually started teaching that it was a job that will break your heart. "You will see things you are powerless over," she said. "You will be their mother and their friend, and spend more time with them than any other adult, and then you will have to let them go. Some of them will die. Some of them will die because they killed themselves. You have to be ready for that."
I never forgot that conversation because I knew it was true. But nobody can prepare you for when it actually happens. And it does indeed break your heart.
****, you will be missed. You were such a special girl - one of my favorites, but don't tell anyone! I'm sorry you had to go so soon. You were beautiful inside and out. Rest in peace, lovely child.

Black and Whites

At stupid academy the other day, we were talking about the difference between preference and bias. I gave the example of black and white cookies. If I am going to eat a cookie, I prefer a black and white cookie. My bias, however, is MY black and white cookies.
Well, you should have seen the reaction. After class, the instructor told me what day she would be returning to class and asked if she could have a black and white cookie. Then, the coordinator (the big boss) told me that one of the other cadets' birthdays would fall the Sunday before, and would I be willing to make cookies for everyone to celebrate? She would be more than happy to reimburse me for the cost of making the cookies. She would get some milk for us from the kitchen.
So, long story short, at least we get a small escape from the stupid academy to have cookies and milk. (Don't worry Marianne, I will make some for you too.)

stupid academy

The pace of the training academy has picked up a bit so it's not quite so torturous. I find myself making little deals with the clock. Like, it's 9:30 now. At 9:43 I will eat this piece of candy. Then at 9:53, I will take a drink of water. I don't know if that gives you a little picture of what it's like in there. They have power point presentation after power point presentation and they read the slides verbatim. Then they tell a story, which is not really a story because it's not in the least bit entertaining. Then they go to the next slide.
It's Thursday, which means I am on the downside slope of the week. Hooray! Two whole days of not wearing a starched white shirt and black pants. The freedom! The blessed freedom!!!!

1 down, 23 to go

I am counting down the days of academy. I absolutely hated yesterday. HATED IT. It was so incredibly boring and we sat almost the entire day. Sitting still is NOT one of my better talents. At least not without a book in my hands, and I was afraid of getting into trouble if I did that. We have to address everyone as "Sir" or "Ma'am" and if we forget they remind us. We have to stand at parade rest and wait to be told to sit down. At the end of class we have to stand at attention and wait to be dismissed. We have to wear shiny black shoes, black pants with a crease, and long sleeved white dress shirts with creases on the arms. The commander told us to starch the creases so they will last all day.
SIGH.

academy

I start my 5-week training academy tomorrow. Yikes. The dress code is a long-sleeved, white, button up shirt with a collar, tucked in to a black or navy blue pair of dress pants or a skirt that goes below the knee. I have to wear shined black shoes and wear my hair up. It's like the freaking army or something. UGH! And I look totally fat when I have to tuck in my shirt! I can't believe I have to spend 5 weeks dressed like that.
Plus, the whole thing takes place in a classroom. It's all lectures, memorization and tests. DOUBLE UGH. Well, I suppose I'll get through it one way or another.

Mary Poppinfus

You know how your dermatologist tells you to shield yourself from the sun with an umbrella, but very few people actually do it? Well, I do it because of my sun allergy. I've been doing it for a while so it doesn't bother me anymore when people laugh, stare, or ask questions. (Which they do, by the way!) Anyway yesterday one of my co-workers called me Mary Poppinfus and I thought it was so funny I might have a hernia laughing.
In other news, yesterday I slept until 5:00 a.m. and today I probably would have except that my crazy, apparently nocturnal daughter was playing with her alarm clock (literally, sitting up on her bed with the light on, playing with the buttons) and it went off at 4:00, and I woke up. She has her first day of school today and she was just setting her alarm before she went to sleep.

3:13

Seriously. I woke up this early in spite of taking an anti-anxiety pill last night before bed. So I wonder, how much of a problem is this? I wake up, drink coffee, and go on my computer. I read the news, the blogs, and maybe play some games. Then I go for a walk before I get ready for work. It's a pleasant morning. When I get home from work, I fix dinner and we eat. Then it's over. I try to keep awake, but rarely can make it after 8:00. I go to sleep. Then I start over. I get between 7 and 8 hours of sleep a night - it's just not through the night like most people. All my life I have required at least 8 - 9 hours, sometimes 10.
So, is it a problem?

3:44

I can't sleep.

Old fart!!!

John McCain is an old fart! He says he is learning how to use that newfangled interweb thingy all by himself.
Seriously!
This is the person that nearly half the country is comfortable with answering the red phone? He can't sign on by himself yet! He'll be completely helpless without his staff!

I get to say 10-4 and mean it

If you had told me at any point in my past that I would have a job requiring me to say 10-4 and meaning it, I would have laughed hard enough to pee my pants! Well guess what. I have to talk on the radio, and I have to use radio codes! I am not used to it yet. I still feel really stupid every time I have to talk. I worry that I sound stupid. How can you not sound stupid saying, "Oh. Ok, 10-4. I mean, 10-4. Ok, thank you." That's the kind of thing I do. I can just see the guys in the security office laughing. At least I didn't say good buddy.

It wasn't a date.

Turns out, this guy wanted information. He is suing our mutual ex-district, because he wasn't treated fairly, and he wanted information about how I was treated before I left. I was treated badly but not nearly as bad as he was.
The thing is I don't want to help him. A job is a job and you just have to keep looking until you find the one that doesn't feel like a job. Bosses sometimes suck, sometimes they are crazy and they treat you like poop. It's just life. I don't want to be a part of a lawsuit like this one.
Also, I feel stupid for thinking that he was interested in me in that way.

I went for a walk

Yesterday I assigned my children a new chore: Take Mom for a walk. I have GOT to exercise every day. I know this. So, I am having them drag my sorry ass off the couch after dinner for a walk. Just a short one, not even a very vigorous one. Just a walk. Quality bonding time, we'll call it.
In other news, I may have a date tonight. I'm just really not sure if it's a date or not. If a guy calls you and says, "I would love to buy you lunch or dinner," is that asking you out on a date? Ugh. Probably yes.
So, that is happening tonight.

Play it safe!

You know those Safe Auto commercials, where they have some idiot talking about how they've had so many accidents, nobody will insure them? Then the Safe Auto person comes on and says, "Play it safe! Call now." I've always hated those commercials. It's like they are saying, we don't care HOW bad you drive! Have as many accidents as you want! Kill people for all we care! Just give us your money!
Yesterday I was driving home there was a car in the left hand lane, going about 20 mph under the speed limit. Everyone is trying to get around the car but the car has pulled up next to a very large cement truck and is going the same speed, which is about 20 mph below the speed limit. Traffic quickly backed up. I could see the car right behind the slow car, flashing their lights and trying to get the slow car to do something about the situation. The slow car driver remained blissfully unaware.
Finally the cement truck turned, and we could all get around the slow car. I noticed while I was shooting daggers with my eyes at the (handicapped and elderly) driver that they had a Safe Auto bumper sticker on their car.
So not only have they had so many accidents they need Safe Auto insurance, they are also advertising for the company. OY VEY!! The whole thing should be illegal. I told my kids they had better take my license away when I start driving like that. Of course they said something to the effect of, hand it over then. *sigh*

Obama leads McCain among people who fart in their sleep

I saw this headline today on Yahoo! news: Obama leads McCain among people who don't have pets.
Seriously, since when do we poll pet owners about their presidential preferences? Why won't the press just say that Obama leads McCain?
It's clear what side Yahoo! is on... the title of the article is actually "Pet Owners Prefer McCain Over Obama." The neutral press has vanished, my friends. Everyone is taking sides this time.