Last day of March

Time marches on. This is the last week of school before students take their AIMS test. This year, I have come to a realization about the stress I normally feel about this time. I thought I was originating the stress - I was worrying about how the kids would perform, and stressing myself out. This year, however, my 3rd year around this block, I am not worried. I've been preparing all year, and the kids are ready. Since I am not worried, I am able to notice what is happening around me. The administration is worried. I wish I hadn't noticed it, because it's really irritating me. Whatever problems our school has that might affect the kids' scores cannot be solved in the final two weeks before the test. So why all of a sudden are we talking about NOT REVIEWING for the AIMS? Seriously, we have had two meetings, where they told us we are NOT REVIEWING for the AIMS. And we've been given lots of tips about what to do while we are NOT REVIEWING. And how to NOT REVIEW for the AIMS effectively. Lots of interactive ideas about how to NOT REVIEW.
We've also been told and emailed ad nauseum about how important the kids' scores are. Like we didn't already know? People, if I wasn't preparing for this all year, there is no way I would be ready if I started preparing now! They are telling us how to make our room a great testing environment. They are having a door decorating contest, where the kids are supposed to decorate the inside of the classroom door with encouraging sayings and mood lifters. Do they think the kids aren't on to them?
Anyway, the good part is that I wasn't doing this to myself the last 2 years. I had a LOT of help from the people who are NOT HELPING ME PREPARE.

Juvy

I spent Friday at the Juvenile Correctional Facility where I am applying for a job. The situation was disorganized and kind of hectic, but it was a really good window into what the job will be like. The kids looked like kids. They didn't seem unhappy. The teachers looked like teachers. They didn't seem unhappy either. The staff was friendly, both with me and with each other. I got to see the chow hall (ew) and the chapel, which as far as I can see is used for everything except a chapel. I am going back to observe the math teacher for a couple of days, so I can see what a typical day looks like. Barring disaster, I will probably start this job sometime over the summer. The pay is great, there is student loan payoff, a bilingual stipend I might qualify for, and hopefully I can keep my master's program. So, for the time being, I am not worried about next year.

It's time, Hillary.

Time to drop out of the race. We knew this day was coming. I know that you have been working for this your whole life, and I know your heart is broken. It will mend. You have to put the welfare of the party above your personal goals. It's hard, I know. I am crying right alongside you. I hope that before I die, there will be a woman President. But I know that person is not you. I think you know it too. I'm sorry, I truly am. I wish things were different.

Did John McCain swallow George Bush?

Because he's starting to sound exactly like our rose-colored-glasses-wearing, floating down de-nial river, head-in-the-sand president. This is what he had to say today:
McCain says US succeeding in Iraq
Really? Four more years of this??? Really???

This is winning?

As of today, 4,000 young men and women have died in the "War on Terror." I find it appalling that according to President Bush and John McCain, we are winning. The troop surge was successful. Why do they say that? Because we've only lost 4,000 troops when the number could be much higher? Five years we have been over there, trying to force our ideas of what is right onto a people that neither want nor need it. Liberators, that's what we'll be, they said when we went in. When the people failed to be liberated and instead began aiming their weapons at our troops, they said we just need more troops! Now the death rate has gone down somewhat and for some reason the mainstream media has stopped reporting how many troops are dying, until we hit 4,000 and all of a sudden it's a story again. This is winning? What if it turns out we won... what did we win? The hatred and fear of other countries. A death toll of 4,000 and counting. The liberation of billions of dollars that could have been put to use right here, where our economy has gone to the toilet. Oh, and let's not forget that we bought into the biggest bluff in the history of mankind, and swooped in to stop nuclear weapons making in a country where the technology and materials were nonexistent, based on a big fat lie that our President couldn't help but believe. Yeah, we definitely won that poker game. What exactly are we winning, Mr. Bush? Mr. McCain? Because nothing that has happened so far has made this country any safer. The guy who masterminds the actual terror plots is still out there, masterminding. We've already lost.

News in Tucson

The news situation in Tucson has always been bad. When I moved here I noticed that the local stations deliberately avoided reporting on anything happening in Phoenix. It is as if they feel acknowledging the existence of the capital city might interfere with Tucson's identity as the Alternative Capital City. The newscasters here speak in barely functional language, stumble over the most basic of sentences, and cannot seem to figure out where the emphasis should be. It's a good thing they don't report on foreign affairs either, because I can't imagine how they might disgrace themselves with names like Sarkozy and Ma Ying-jeou. As long as I have been watching and reading the news here, the policy when deciding what to report on is clearly, "If it doesn't happen in Tucson, then it doesn't happen."
So I depend largely on the internet for my news, since I don't have cable. This morning, while browsing the headlines, I noticed under the Local News section of my Google News page that the Tucson Citizen has this headline today:

Services open, closed Easter and Monday

What the hell?? It doesn't even make sense. Another case in point: Obama's speech on Tuesday is given exactly one mention, and it comes after an announcement about the new no-kill dog and cat shelter and a fascinating read about a job fair for veterans. It gets better - this is the first line of the article:

"The brother can turn a phrase." That was congressman Raúl Grijalva's review of Barack Obama's speech on race that had the nation talking this week.

Oh, my GOD. The embarrassment. Does Raul think that since he is Hispanic, he can refer to Barak as a "brother" because Barak is black? Raul Grijalva, si se puede make an ass of yourself. Do us all a favor and remember this: Better to be silent and thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

There are a lot of things I love about Tucson, but sometimes I wonder if it is worth being associated with the news organizations here.

Bill Richardson

Governor Richardson announced his support for Senator Barack Obama today. His endorsement could not have come at a better time. The press reports that Gov. Richardson made his decision after being moved by Sen. Obama's recent speech on race relations in our country.
I emailed Gov. Richardson to thank him, and I urge you to do so as well.

stupid CNN

Stupid CNN finally added Barack Obama to their "Hot Topics" category. I wonder if they are going to turn.

Hot Topics » Election Center 2008 • The Political Ticker • Barack Obama • Hillary Clinton • John McCain • more topics »

Proof match.com is no good for me

Online Dating Helping Pathetic Women Get Their Hopes Crushed More Efficiently

I didn't know birds ate those...

HOUSTON—According to an official NASA report released Saturday, nearly 32 percent of all prayers exiting Earth are deflected off satellites orbiting the planet—ultimately preventing the discharged requests for divine intervention from ever making it to the Gates of Heaven. "After impact with the satellite, these diverted prayers typically plummet back into the atmosphere, where they either burn up or eventually land, unanswered, in a body of water," the report read in part. "Of the remaining prayers, research confirms 64 percent fail to make it past the stratosphere because they aren't prayed hard enough, 94 percent of those with enough momentum are swallowed by a supermassive black hole at the center of the Milky Way galaxy, and 43 percent are eaten by birds." The report concluded that, of the 170 billion prayers issued last month, one made it to God, whose reply was intercepted by a hurricane and incorrectly delivered to a Nigerian man who reportedly did not know what to do with his brand-new Bowflex machine.

I'm not a prosophobe, MOM

And I can prove it. A prosophobe (or whatever you called me) would wait until the last possible moment to go to disgusting Wal-Mart and buy the digital signal converters. Then, even if the prosophobe bought the digital converters, there's no way she would hook them up until the last possible moment. I still have until February of next year, and yet here I am with digital television signals. So there! Hmmph.
Nevermind the fact that I was so grouchy about buying the damn things I almost bit the Wal-Mart guy's head off. I was very hostile.
Also, nevermind that I am still livid about being forced to have digital TV even though I am perfectly happy with my analog signal! But it's not about being afraid of progress. It's about being forced to pay for something that should be free. The reason we have to watch all those damn television commercials is because the companies who buy that airtime are paying for me to have the signal, in return for my watching their ad. People who buy cable are being shafted. Are there less commercials on those networks? I think not! If anything there are more! So the networks are making money hand over fist from the advertisers, and you're paying them for the privilege of watching their commercials! Why don't I pay someone good money to sit next to me and beat me over the head with a stick? Because that's what it amounts to, in my book.
That said, the digital signal is nice. It's clear and clean, and I have 17 channels now instead of 7. (Ok, so half of them are Spanish.) The converter boxes were $50. With the $40 coupons from the government, I had to pay a total of $20 for the two boxes. It's a one-time expense that should not have bothered me, but it did because that was Wal-Mart's profit. Ew.
What really makes me mad is that there are millions of people who were perfectly happy with their analog signals, and five channels, who will go ahead and buy cable because it's easier than getting the coupons, buying the converter boxes, and setting them up. Not to mention the pressure of society saying, "You're afraid of progress! That's why you don't want to pony up for a service you don't want!" There are millions, literally, of senior citizens and otherwise homebound people who will still be shocked and dismayed next February when their TV doesn't work anymore. So ok, that's progress, yahoo. And I'm not even going to START on what it means for society at large when not receiving television signals is tantamount to Chinese water torture.
If you had asked me a few years ago, I never would have thought that I would have to be dragged by the hair, kicking and screaming, into the digital age.

And so it begins.

For the last 2 nights in a row, I have had teaching dreams. The kind I usually have right before the new school year begins. I've got all these kids everywhere, and they are roaming around and being naughty, and I can't get them to listen to me. As soon as I get a group of kids seated and settled in one area of the room, the other areas erupt in naughtiness (the room is always the size of a damn airplane hangar). Invariably the principal walks in and sees the chaos, and then I wake up. I guess I am having the dreams now because I am not sure where I will be at the beginning of next school year.
Maybe I will end up at Raytheon, making missiles, and then I can dream about mass destruction instead of teaching. Or teaching at Juvy - I bet those dreams would be interesting!

More Fun with Craig's List

I read the personals on Craig's List - for entertainment value only! Today there were some real beauts! So I decided I should share:

I had a girlfriend in NC and she had a bad heart and her health insurance would not cover the operation she need. Well not all of it and she could not get the Dotor she need to do her heart operation. Well we made qa deal and we married so she could use my insurance and now she well we filed the LEGALLY separation and she has her life and I have my. Divorce will be finally in 11 months and until then she uses my insurance. So that last should be 4th marriage but it was a contract and I can send it to you if want to see it.

I sincerely have a preference for women with small tiny breast (AA or A), but have BIG IDEAS & SINCERE INTENTIONS.

I am kind and considerate and thoughtful and a gentle man that still opens the car door for someone or puts down the foot pegs for her to jump on the back of the bike. I like times at the river or a lake I love riding through the country side looking at are wonderful world of nature.

I'm for real, kind, considerate, sensual and caring. But I don't want to fall-in-love, or deal with the drama of dating. I want to be your go-to guy. Obviously I'm not going to lay out a picture of myself for the world to see. I'm professional and have some scrupals.

I saved the best for last...


I’m seeking an intelligent SWF, late 20s- to late 40s, one whose sweet and good-hearted and fun to talk to, but who sometimes needs a reminder of how reasonable young ladies are supposed to behave. Be assured, whether it’s delivered on the spot, or whether you’re sent to your room with a smack on the bottom and made to wait for me to “deal with you,” your fate will be sealed.

I'm going to juvy.

I hope. I am applying for a job teaching in a secure school - that's the fancy term they use these days for juvy! It pays a LOT more money. Plus, there are probably not a lot of parents I will have to deal with! Ha! They might even be motivated to stay in the classroom, if the alternative is their cell.
So, I'm applying. The job doesn't close until June 30 so there's plenty of time to wait. *sigh*

Wednesday Bitchery

Today's late bitchery is about parents who believe everything their kid says, even when it doesn't make sense. Parents, listen up. Your kid will lie to get out of trouble. If you have to believe either your kid or the adult that spends more time each day with them than you do, PICK THE ADULT. Here's an example of what I am talking about. I give a homework assignment. Your kid doesn't do it. When I ask why, he says it's because he didn't feel like it. A few days or possibly weeks later, you check your kid's grades online and notice the zero grade. You ask your kid what assignment it was and why it's missing. Kid tells you he has no idea, he turned it in, Ms P. must have lost it, etc. etc. ad nauseum. You believe your kid, and call the principal demanding to know why this clearly incompetent boob is pretending to teach your kid math! Principal calls a meeting! Everyone is angry, but most of all the incompetent boob! I hate you all.

Too good to be true!!

Please, please, forces of the universe! Let it be true!!

I hit the wall

... with the soup. I can't eat any more soup for a while. Today was supposed to be the last day anyway. If I am not purified by now, it's not happening. I finally stopped having to pee every hour on the 5th day, so maybe that is a sign. I'm just going to avoid sugar and flour, and other than that eat what I want. If I could get some exercise back into my day that would be great. Don't know when I will be ready to do that. Maybe never.
I'm becoming resigned to my life as a spinster. One really great thing about that is I can do what I want, when I want, and not have to worry about taking anyone else into consideration. So, I guess after I get my finances straightened out, which will be after I find a higher paying job, then I should start doing some things I want to do. Like see the Louvre, and Mount Rushmore. There is no shame in going those places by myself.

Day 5

Yesterday went really well. No cravings, no hunger, no feeling deprived. I think I am probably not losing weight because I'm not suffering... but I don't know because I don't have a scale. Maybe if I try on some clothes to see if they are looser.
Today I am supposed to eat beef. If I stay on this diet, I think I'll start referring to the days of the week by what I'm eating, like those Subway commercials. "I still need to do homework. It's due on beef and tomatoes!" or, "I can't have dinner with you on brown rice. I want to stay home and watch the political coverage."
HAHAHA!! I crack myself up.
Anyway I had another baby dream night before last. I've had them about once a month, ever since my surgery. It's never the same dream, but in the dreams I have somehow or another acquired an infant and I'm just holding it and hugging it and loving it. Another common theme is that the baby always cries at some point, and it doesn't stress me out at all. In real life, babies crying tend to stress me out. So the reaction in this dream is unusual. I just comfort the baby, and it stops crying. Inevitably, the day following the dream I am very, very sad and I think about the dream often. I think there must be something really interesting going on in my psyche!