A few months ago, I was engaging in a friendly rivalry with another sixth grade teacher. Our classes were in competition to raise the most cans for the food drive before the holidays. Well, the other class won. Not to be outdone, I waited until his class was somewhere else, and then I took my class in his room and we stole the trophy. We left a note cut out of magazine letters that said, "Bring 27 chocolate bars to Ms. P's room if you want to see your trophy alive." Their response was to come in while we were gone and trash my room. They took the legs off of the desks, hid things, etc. We came back, and one of the things they had done was take all the math books out of the desks and put them in the cabinet. It was time for math, so I told the students to get a math book, once they had put their desk back together. In that same cabinet was an extra set of teacher's manuals. The teacher's manual comes in two volumes. This student siezed the opportunity, took one of the volumes and put it in his backpack. An accident, you say? No. The teacher's manual is at least 25% bigger than the student volume. Impossible to mistake for a regular book.
Fast forward a few months... This very clever student's mother found the teacher's manual in said student's room. She "threw the book into the garage," (?! the nut doesn't fall far from the tree) where according to her it remained for another month or so. Of course, the student wasn't using it or anything. One day last week, the student brought the book to the office after school. He told the office manager that he had been issued the book in the beginning of the year. Said office manager called me to tell me she had the book, and ask where he might have got it. She told the student to go home. I went to see if I had all of my copies, and sure enough, one of the books from the cabinet was missing. Things started to click into place... I have been arguing with this kid for months about not showing his work on his homework. I have been taking points away, begging, pleading for him to show his work. It all of a sudden makes sense!
The next day I talked to the assistant principal about how to handle the situation. He immediately called the student up and questioned him. The student eventually admitted to taking the book and said he used it for one homework assignment. Remember, he is a genius. Student ends up suspended for two and a half days, and mother writes me an email asking me to call her.
I called her, explained how and when he got the book, told her it could not have been an accident, and then told her about how I have been asking her kid to show his work. She was upset about the punishment, thought it was too severe, and said she thought going to the office and being interrogated was enough punishment. I said something along the lines of, "He stole that book out of my room. It isn't really about what he did with it. He took something that did not belong to him."
She said, and I quote, "I guess I just don't understand how him having that book translates into stealing school property."
I was literally stunned into silence for several moments. I told her that was where we disagreed, and I was not going to ask for the punishment to be reduced, which was what she wanted.
So, long story long, Friday was the kid's first day back to school, and I swear he must have been farting on purpose. I know it was him because of the look on his face. About the third time it happened, I took my "Lovespell" body spray that I keep in my desk for just such occasions, and sprayed it liberally around him and his desk. He stopped after that.
Using farts as revenge is just horribly fascinating to me.... the mentality that goes along with that is frightening. I mean, what does he think to himself? "I'll get her... I'll just fart in class and she won't know who did it, and she'll have to smell my farts and I won't get in trouble.'
Genius.
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