Silver lining...

One good thing about having the stomach flu is that your stomach shrinks, and then afterward you can eat just a little bit and be full. Is that an unhealthy thought?

icky, icky

Icky germs! Now 2 students in my district have had staph infections! Won't these teenagers just take a shower? WHY NOT?

Friday Gratitude

Today I am thankful because I am an American, and in particular, a Tucsonan. My country has its faults and Lord knows I can't stand our leader - but I have grown up in a country where there is plenty of everything to go around. People aren't killing each other over religious differences. We have freedom of speech, and a working democracy. The part of our country and my city I am most thankful for is the people. I am thinking about this because of the fires in California that have destroyed people's homes and places of employment. I can already see the reactions of the people in my city. Someone in my school district is organizing a drive to collect toiletries for those people. I saw on the local news that other organizations are rallying to support those who have lost everything. I suspect it will be like when Katrina hit and the people of New Orleans were devastated. When the rest of America realized what was happening, there was an outpouring of time, money, material things, and a willingness to help. When people are in trouble, there are a whole lot of Americans who ask what they can do to help. I think that is a really great thing. It makes me proud.

I didn't walk.

I haven't exercised since last Thursday. Not only that but I ate a Big Mac and fries for dinner. Then some ice cream. Ugh.

Friday Gratitude

I am borrowing from the idea of Thursday Divinity from my sister, but changing it just a bit. I'm working to have a positive outlook and a big part of that is being grateful for the things that happen in everyday life. And yesterday was a biggie!
I had one of my math classes in groups yesterday and I was walking around, monitoring their conversations. I had given them some quite difficult percentage problems to do and they were just getting started. I heard one of the girls kind of sigh, "Man, I love this class." Her friend replied, "Yeah, it's pretty much my favorite."
TALK ABOUT IT, SISTER! Two girls, and 8th grade math is their favorite class! I am so grateful for the path that led me here. I spent many years kind of wondering about the reasons for my existence, besides perpetuating the species. Now I have something that I love doing, and on top of that I am actually pretty good at it! I'm grateful for the support of my family because I would not have got through college otherwise. I am also grateful to them for listening to me bitch and moan my way through my degree. I am grateful for all the perceived hardships along the way, because in hindsight, they gave me all the experiences I needed in order to be successful as a teacher. I'm grateful for my kids, because they always believed I could do it. You know that commercial where the mom is studying and the little boy brings her a peanut butter sandwich? That's how my kids were. I'm grateful for the chance every day to go to work and change some teenagers' ideas about school and math.
So, there you have it! My first Friday Gratitude.

So tired.

It's the end of the third day back. I started eating right again and working out again on Monday. So I'm really tired.

Back to the old grind.

I didn't work at all over break. Not once, not even for a minute. It's like riding a bike... when we come back it's like I never left except I have my patience back and I don't feel like I am going to die from being so tired. The kids are never as happy to see me as I am to see them!

Who am I kidding?

OMG, too much to do. Panicking. Want to do everything, want to be Wonder Woman. Knowing I have too much to do, I choose to blog about it instead of getting busy. Not very wonder-woman-ish.

The Big Idea

It takes two hours to get the windshield replaced, so my big idea was to work on my paper during that two hours. Clever, right? Great use of time. Well, turns out it's only clever if I actually work on my paper instead of f*cking off on the internet, which is what I am presently doing. Cursed free wireless access nearly everywhere I go! But really, now I'm going to get busy. Really, now. Seriously. Right now. *sigh* dammit

Last Day of Vacation

This vacation I cleaned out the garage, had surgery, spent quality time with family, cleaned my room and rearranged furniture, painted the shelving unit that's been on the back porch for eons, sprayed for bugs, and attended a math teacher's conference. I've worked on my project for my Master's class. I'm about to go get the windshield on my car replaced. Oh, and I bought and used local produce. Yeah! But there is still so much left to do! I have to write a four page paper, do the reading assignment for Monday night's class, clean the house so my BFF who is coming tomorrow doesn't see it like this, take my daughter halfway to PHx to see her dad, and I guess that's it. Maybe not so much after all. Oh wait, I am going to try a new gym and a different workout that includes kickboxing moves, and also go to the farmer's market.
Also my mental health homework is to start keeping a diary of when I set boundaries in my every day life. If someone asks me to do something, and I can't do it, and I tell the person I can't do it, that's setting a boundary. If I need help and I ask for it, that's somehow connected to boundaries but I don't remember how. So I am supposed to keep track of that. Reading over this I guess I understand why I am feeling just a bit overwhelmed. Better get started.

Things I should do today

1. Try different sushi restaurant with sister
2. Choose 3 papers and write synthesis paper on the papers
3. Clean disgusting bathroom
4. Take daughter to pediatrician's office for shot
5. Write stupid, boring and mundane blog entry (done)

My Seinfeld thing

Why do I do it? I meet someone perfectly nice, and then I start picking them apart like a nice loaf of monkey bread. (Monkey bread... mmmmm) I guess I'm just not ready to date.

My achin' back

Marianne and I were talking about how we have lists of things we want to get done while we are not working. One of my things was the shelving unit I have had on the back porch for quite some time. I wanted to get it painted and then use it as an extra bookshelf and a couch table, to put behind the loveseat because it's just the right height. So, this morning I got the thing painted! Done! GOD my back hurts. Anyway, that's not the problem. The problem is that now it's done, and I put it behind the loveseat and put books on the shelves, and now I don't like how it looks! I am going to have to do some rearranging. And super duty heavy cleaning because my BFF from Pinetop is coming to visit on Saturday and I don't want her to see how I really live. Now I have to go find the heating pad.

Bastards!!

So last night I dragged my two kids and my sister to downtown Tucson. The goal was to go on a walking historic ghost tour through some downtown places that are supposed to be haunted. (BTW Marianne, Heart Five is on the list of stops. So you were right.) We got there super early and circled the block a few times looking for a Starbucks. When it was time, there were a total of 16 people waiting for the tour. Guess who never shows up? You got it, the tour guide. Unless the tour guide was netherworldly and none of us saw him/her/it. I was so disappointed. I got home and wrote an email to the place that is advertising the tour, and haven't heard back yet. Now I want to go for free, since they jerked me around. AND, I had BETTER see some ghosties.

I got it together

Yesterday I read papers, went to see a very funny movie with my sister and daughter, met with my team for my master's program, and then had a date! The date was even OK! Except the guy called an hour after the date. Bad sign. Clingy. Or, I guess I could look at it as a good sign. He's interested.

I can't seem to get it together

This is the middle of week two in my three week break from work. I try not to plan to do very much during the break, because I actually just need the time off! But I did plan to catch up on my reading for my master's class. So far I just have not done any of it. I'm putting together a puzzle, driving all over creation looking for new restaurants to try, watching court shows until my eyes bleed, and just generally being on vacation. But today I have a meeting with my team, and we are supposed to develop an interview, so I have work to do. Blah!

October 1st

Here is my newest work, titled "October 1st."

I'm really happy with it.

Teaching Gap

I am reading a really great book for one of my master's classes. It's called "The Teaching Gap" and it's about the latest TIMSS study, where 8th grade math classrooms in the US, Japan, and Germany were videotaped, analyzed, and compared. Part of the justification for the study is that teaching in the US is in need of an overhaul, but not everybody agrees on that. This book spends some time on the interesting concept that teaching is a cultural activity. There is a distinctly American pattern of teaching, just like there is a distinctly Japanese way and a German way. There are some similarities between the three, and some differences. The major difference between the US pattern and the Japanese pattern is that here in the US, the person in charge of doing the math is the teacher. In Japan, the teacher puts a problem up, reminds the students of how they solved a similar problem yesterday, and then lets them go. But back to the cultural thing... I don't think that as a nation we have addressed the fact that our schools were created to educate a specific population of white males. Teachers back then were white and female. Teachers now are still overwhelmingly white and female, and our methods have not changed much. The student base, however, is dramatically different. I agree with the authors in the end - a major overhaul is needed. I think I will start by allowing my students to struggle more - something that is suspiciously absent in the American pattern of teaching math.

They think I'm sane!!

One of my colleagues is having a very hard time at work. She came to me because I am the VP of our union local. She said that she had talked to another of our colleagues last night, and that person told her, "You need to call the sane person, and that's Melissa."
HA!! That just made me feel so good.

It's only life, after all

My new favorite song:
(And letter to my stronger self)

I'm trying to tell you something about my life
Maybe give me insight between black and white
And the best thing you've ever done for me
Is to help me take my life less seriously
Its only life after all
Yeah

Well darkness has a hunger thats insatiable
And lightness has a call thats hard to hear
I wrap my fear around me like a blanket
I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it
I'm crawling on your shores

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountains
Theres more than one answer to these questions
Pointing me in a crooked line
And the less I seek my source for some definitives
The closer I am to fine
The closer I am to fine

And I went to see the doctor of philosophy
With a poster of rasputin and a beard down to his knee
He never did marry or see a b-grade movie
He graded my performance, he said he could see through me
I spent four years prostrate to the higher mind
Got my paper and I was free

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountains
There's more than one answer to these questions
Pointing me in a crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitives
The closer I am to fine
The closer I am to fine

I stopped by the bar at 3 a.m.
To seek solace in a bottle or possibly a friend
And I woke up with a headache like my head against a board
Twice as cloudy as Id been the night before
And I went in seeking clarity.

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountains
Yeah we go to the doctor, we go to the mountains
We look to the children, we drink from the fountains
Yeah we go to the bible, we go through the workout
We read up on revival and we stand up for the lookout
Theres more than one answer to these questions
Pointing me in a crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitives
The closer I am to fine
The closer I am to fine
The closer I am to fine

(Indigo Girls)