Evolution of a Workout

Curves has produced motivational CDs for purchase by members. There is spunky music playing in the background, and every 30 seconds, a female voice says a positive affirmation. She says things like, "You are loyal!" and "You are healthy!" At the Curves where I work out, they play these every now and then instead of the regular voice that says, "Change stations now." So yesterday, I was on the arm-curl machine and there is no voice telling me to change stations. My arms are starting to lose feeling, and I said, "TINA!! (that's the gal who manages the place) There's something wrong, it's been more than 30 seconds."
So she goes over to the machine and says, "Ok, 5 more seconds." Then I hear, "You are motivated!"
Well, the whole place erupts in groans and complaints because everyone professes to hate this positive affirmation thing instead of the regular voice saying change stations. And truly, I was grumpy yesterday when I was working out. I had a monster headache all day, the freaking cyst behind my ear hurts, burns, and itches, and my administration PISSED ME OFF. The really funny part is how susceptible I am to that voice, and how my attitude had changed by the time I left. It sorta went like this:
"You are loyal!"
Fuck you. I hate you.
"You are wonderful!"
Wish I could say the same about you. Shut the hell up.
"You are positive!"
Positive I hate you. Jesus Chocolate Christ.
"You are strong!"
You're right, I am strong. I could probably beat the hell out of you.
"You are healthy!"
Well, true enough, this is a very healthy thing I am doing right now. Other than following each positive affirmation with a negative one.
"You are determined!"
Obviously, otherwise I wouldn't be here listening to YOU!
"You are wealthy!"
????
"You are beautiful!"
Well yes, I guess you could say that.
"You are loving!"
Most of the time, yes.
"You are loyal!"
True enough.
"You are wonderful!"
Thanks... so are you.
Then I left in a much, much better mood than I was in when I got there.