Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Colorado

Things I have learned about Denver so far:
1. There is quite a bit of traffic.
2. You can't drive on the 16th street mall.
3. The word "park" can be used to describe a strip of grass in front of a row of buildings.
4. The people are generally better looking and better dressed here than in Tucson.
5. It is important to have a south-facing house.

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Goals

My students and I have been talking about goals. Before each benchmark test, the school wants us to sit with each student and have them set a goal for their next test score. The process of setting goals comes naturally to me because I was raised in a household where people set, and met, their goals regularly. Mom and Dad were always aiming toward something, and most of the time they got there. When they didn't, we learned about how to overcome adversity. It's part of our culture. My students, however, have a different experience. For their parents, a goal is having enough food to put on the table, or being able to take a day off from all three jobs at the same time. For these kids, setting goals has no meaning. They don't understand why the school wants them to say they want to do better on the next test. Of course they want to do better on the next test. What a stupid thing to have to do. They are missing a crucial element of setting goals, which is outlining what steps are necessary in order to meet the goals. They don't understand the fundamental concept that effort = achievement.
When I talked with my kids about their goals, I noticed that they were aiming for the moon. They all want to exceed, they say they will go to tutoring every single day and do homework every single night. They will study! They will pay attention in class! They will, in short, be perfect. They are saying what they think I want to hear. So, we started from scratch.
I shared my goal of a half marathon in January. I talked about the steps I would take to meet my goal. I asked if they thought I could do it... most of them said no. I showed them my medal from my last half marathon, and they were shocked... I said, I know I can do this because I already did it once. But that doesn't mean I have to work any less hard the second time.
Then we talked about adversity. I face some adversity... my weight, the weather, inertia, etc. We talked about what kinds of adversity they face when it comes to doing homework and studying. They don't have anyone to help them when they get stuck. There are a lot of more fun (read: illegal) things to do with their friends. They have to watch their little brothers/sisters/neices/nephews/cousins, etc. We talked about how there is no magic goal fairy that can make their dreams come true. If they meet their goals, it is because they worked their butts off to get there - just like if I meet my goal, it's because I worked my butt off to get there.
We all wrote down our goals. I wrote my goal on a corner of the white board. They wrote theirs down on paper. I collected the papers, and typed up the goals (so that nobody would know whose was whose) and hung them up on the bulletin board. We look at our goals every single day and think about whether we are taking the steps we need to take in order to meet them.
Then I made a deal with them. On days when I do my running, they are expected to do their homework. But if I skip my run, then I do not assign homework. They were all for it! I don't think they believed that I would do my part. I set aside a corner of the white board and every morning I write how far I went. Sharing my goal with my students was the best thing that has ever happened to my teaching, and my training. Every morning, some of those kids look at that white board first thing. Most of the time, they are surprised to see a number there. They always ask questions. How did it go? Was it hard? They encourage me. Miss, I can't believe you go every day! Miss, aren't you excited for your half marathon? Yesterday (every period, all day long) it went like this:

Miss, you ran this morning?
Yes, I did.
Does that mean we have homework?
No, it's benchmark testing week. You don't have homework.
Then why did you go?
Because I still want to meet my goal. Just because you guys are testing, that doesn't mean my half marathon isn't happening.
But wasn't it cold?
Yes, it was freezing. And the wind was blowing really hard.
Miss, what time do you have to get up to run?
I get up at 4:30.
WHY????
Because I want to meet my goal.

These are all different kids asking questions, so it's like a group discussion. They are so interested, it's really funny!
But yesterday, I had a really great opportunity to talk to one of my kids who struggles with math. After the discussion above, this is how it went:

But miss, I'm just not good with math. It's too hard. I've never been good at it.
Do you think I'm good at running?
No.
Do you think it's easy for me?
No.
Does that mean I can't do it?
(pause) No.
I can do it because I try. Just because something is hard for you, that doesn't mean you can't do it. It just means you have to work a little harder than other people. If you are determined, then you can do it.
But miss, I hate math.
Well, do you think I like running?
No. (Ok, a white lie.)
Do I do it anyway?
Yes.
Why?
Because you have a goal.
Right. Do you have a goal?
Yes.
Do you want to meet that goal?
Yes.
Then you need to be determined. You can do it, even if you don't like it and you don't think you are good at it. You can still do it.

He looked very pensive and kind of unhappy, so I'm pretty sure he was really listening and absorbing the concept of effort being directly related to achievement. I can literally SEE the difference in their work ethic ever since we had that talk about goals. I am getting WAY more homework handed in. Their grades are actually coming up.

Well, today is the big day - the math benchmark test. They are ready. I went to the store and bought fruit, pop tarts, granola bars, fruit snacks, popcorn, gum, OJ, and animal crackers. I told every one of them that if they are hungry when they get to school, they must come and get something to eat. I really shouldn't have spent that money but I could not help myself. The bills can kiss my ass. I have students to worry about. I'll buy fewer souvenirs in Denver. I'll figure it out. The kids might be hungry the rest of the year but dammit, they will be full for this test! Oh, it's so selfish. But I want them to see that they can do it. I'll do whatever it takes to get them there.

Wish us luck!

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Ginger attacks??

This article makes me want to cry! I had not heard about the South Park episode where Cartman decides that redheads are genetically defective, evil beings and must be eradicated. He starts "Annual Kick a Ginger Day" and of course the cartoon leads to this stuff actually happening!

Friday, November 20, 2009

It's all down hill from here.

This is probably way TMI so read at your own peril.
The other day I sneezed, and lost control of my bladder a little bit. Not a big deal, as I was wearing a liner, but I was sufficiently horrified that I decided to exercise those bladder muscles, or whatever they are. So, every time I pee, I stop the flow and count to five, and do that five times. So yesterday I was in the staff bathroom, thinking I was alone in there. I did my thing, go, stop, go, stop, etc. When I was washing my hands, all of a sudden I hear somebody cough! I finished up and ran back to my classroom so that person wouldn't find out who I was. I wonder if they saw my shoes and knew anyway.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Good.

It's about damn time. The lousy AZ legislature has finally done something in support of the education reform we so desperately need. Seniority is no longer the deciding factor when it comes to who gets to stay and who gets a pink slip. Of course, the teacher's union is up in arms, saying that legislators who voted for this are not supporting public education. I beg to differ. Arizona's education policy has been the very definition of insanity for too long. Keep doing the same thing we've been doing, and expect better test scores. Keep doing the same thing we've been doing, and expect teachers to do their best to teach our kids. The human race has a tendency to opt for the most energy-conserving option. It is part of our evolution. When given the choice while teaching geometry to have a room full of kids sit quietly and work out of the textbook, or give them all rubber bands and geoboards for an activity, guess what most teachers choose? You got it. Guess which option is better for the students? You got it.
Finally, a teacher's pay will be based on how well they teach, not how long they have been teaching. Teachers should be held to the same standards, if not higher, than those of the rest of the workforce. Do a good job, get more money. Do a fair job, get to keep your job. Do a lousy job, go find another job.
I have to blog about it because I don't dare speak my opinion at work.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

On the other hand...

Question: What makes a 200-lb woman finish a half marathon?
Answer: Sheer force of will.
I posted about will power, because I thought the article was interesting. Upon further reflection, I understand that I am still thinking that my problem with food is about will power. I am living proof that it isn't. If it was about simple determination, I would be at the weight my inner idiot thinks I should be. It just isn't about that. It is about a whole lot of other things that I am convinced science doesn't know about yet.
One of my co-workers had remarked on my grape powerade zero bottle at lunchtime yesterday, and asked me if it tasted good. I told her I was re-using the bottle so really it was diet cran-grape, but yes the powerade tastes good! Then my inner idiot felt the need to justify the fact that I was drinking powerade to begin with. I stopped myself before I started justifying, and instead I said, "You know, I need to drink that stuff after I run, so that my blood pressure stays up. I just still have a hard time thinking of myself as an athlete, even though I have done a half marathon." She gave me kind of a dumbfounded look, and said, "Yeah, you have to be really fit to be able to do that. I'm pretty sure you are an athlete." We both smiled and then went on with the conversation. But that was a really great, enlightening moment for me. Not because I didn't already know that stuff, and hadn't had that conversation before, with myself and with other people. That moment was different because I felt a sense of acceptance about the fact that I am an athlete.
I do find it curious that acceptance of this fact should be so difficult. I don't have a hard time calling myself a mathematician, because I do math all day, and who cares if it's at the middle school level. I don't hesitate to call myself a liberal, even in a room full of conservatives. It's about how I look at myself, not how I perceive the rest of the world sees me.
So in my world, why shouldn't it be possible that I am both "overweight" and and athlete? I'm really not even sure I am overweight. I think I am my weight. And, I'm an athlete.

Sunday, November 08, 2009

you CAN improve your willpower!!

...or so says Discover Magazine. There was an article in a recent issue about willpower and how there is a mental reserve of something that helps you set aside energy for other tasks, like finding something else to do besides eat halloween candy. It's the same energy, according to them, that is responsible for willpower. The trick is to do things that require effort of will, like brushing your teeth or eating with your non-dominant hand. So, if this is true, then with practice you can become better at resisting your vices.

Misc and sundry

Wow, I haven't posted since September! Not that it matters - I think this is more of a diary than a blog. And, I have mostly been posting on my training blog.
I am planning our Christmas trip to Colorado. I typed up our itinerary, bought tickets, and reserved motel rooms yesterday. So far, this is what we are doing:

Saturday, December 19th
9:00 a.m. Departure for Truth or Consequences, NM
2:00 p.m. Arrival Geronimo Springs Museum
3:00 p.m. Departure for Albuquerque, NM
5:30 Arrival at Ambassador Inn One
6:30 Departure for River of Lights

Sunday, December 20th
10:00 a.m. Departure for Marianne’s House
5:00 p.m. Arrival at Marianne’s House

Monday, December 21st
11 a.m. - 7 p.m. Denver Christkindl Market

Tuesday, December 22nd
1:00 Denver Museum of Nature & Science
Black Holes: The Other Side of Infinity 1:30 p.m.

Wednesday, December 23rd
12:00 p.m. Denver Mint

Thursday, December 24th
Bake Christmas Cookies!

Saturday, December 26th
10:00 a.m. Departure for Albuquerque, NM
7:00 Arrival at Ambassador Inn

Sunday, December 27th
10:00 a.m. Departure for Home

It's a little neurotic, I know, but I planned so many things I had to make sure that I didn't overdo it and didn't plan too many things for one day. So we are stopping at a museum 4 hours or so into the drive. I thought the name of the town Truth or Consequences was so funny, we could not possibly drive by without stopping. That evening, we are having dinner and seeing the River of Lights in Albuquerque. This is a light display at their botanical gardens. It sounds spectacular!
In Denver we're going to do lots of different things. The Christkindl market is the local park dressed up as a German Christmas town. There will be lots of German and other European food and crafty things. It sounds awesome. I am really excited about touring the Denver Mint to see how the coins are stamped out and such. I love traveling! It's a shame we can't do it more often. It's really expensive though.
I am thinking that Marianne and maybe even Chris will have an awful time going to work instead of playing hooky and coming to our adventures with us.

Speaking of traveling, I am applying for a fully funded trip to Costa Rica next summer. It is for teachers and it's sponsored by Toyota. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

It isn't just black people thinking it...

This post really resonated with me this morning. Rep. Wilson's outburst during President Obama's speech really bothered me. The first thing I thought when I read about it on the news was, "This would have NEVER happened to a white president." In her post, Ms. Mitchell says that most African-Americans are thinking that racism is behind Wilson's outburst. It isn't just the African-Americans. There are some of us who know racism when we see it, regardless of the color of our own skin. I'm glad Jimmy Carter said it out loud.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Rat Poop

My new job is to take over for a math teacher that has been moved to an instructional coaching position. She has been in the same classroom for 10 years. Teachers, probably more than in any other occupation, accumulate stuff. Books, manipulatives, posters, calculators, magnets, ... stuff. This particular teacher seems to have had a problem throwing things away. Even broken things. In the classroom there is a tall cupboard with shelves, like a pantry. Today after school I was trying to get it cleaned out. (This teacher keeps telling me she is going to come and move the rest of her stuff, and nothing has moved an inch.) So I started at the top, cleaning out and organizing things. There is a Toshiba laptop with all the cords and a nice bag. There is a broken stereo speaker and a bag of unidentifiable, miscellaneous cords. There are paper bags, grocery bags, gift bags, garbage bags. Napkins, random plastic utensils, a razor blade. You get the idea. It hasn't been cleaned once. I got to the bottom shelf and was digging out paper bags when I got to some that had been chewed. I could actually see the little rat teeth marks. Very cautiously, I knelt down and peered in to discover droppings. I got a paper towel to swipe out the remaining garbage, fully expecting a rat to jump out at me. Fortunately, all I found was two boxes of VHS tapes from roughly 15 years ago, one of which was actually glued to the shelf with rat piss. HANTA VIRUS!!!! my brain is screaming. But I can't stop cleaning it... nobody else is going to do it and now that I know it's there, how can I live with it?? So I sprayed on a LOT of the industrial strength cleaner that was also in the closet, and let it soak. The stains didn't come out.... ugh.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Forced growth

Part of me thinks that all of this is happening because if my daughters and I are not forced to separate, we never will. And that can't be healthy for any of us.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

What is wrong with this picture?

I have to get all this out somewhere and I guess that's why I have a blog. I crunched some numbers yesterday and found out that the 7th graders I taught last year showed the biggest single increase over their previous years' scores at that school since the 2004-05 school year. Their scores increased by an average of 16% over their 6th grade scores. And I only had 2 quarters to teach them before the AIMS test. It escapes me how nobody from the district is looking at the data and saying wait, what is happening here? I taught the majority of the 7th graders... I had four very full classes and the other 7th grade math teacher had 3 smaller ones. I am thinking of writing an email to the superintendent asking why I can't get a job in TUSD and why they went out of state to hire highly qualified math teachers, and ignored the one right in their backyard.
Today I sent an email to the entire family outlining my plan for what will happen if I don't have a job by the end of August, which is about a week and a half away. I've been in bed for the last three days. My youngest daughter is vomiting every morning before school. My oldest hasn't smiled in days. I think we're all doing our crying in private... trying to be strong for each other, I guess.
I am trying to count my blessings. I have a supportive family who won't let us be out on the street. We are all healthy. I will be able to get my master's degree even if I don't find a job. The oldest daughter's college is almost completely paid for with scholarships and grants. My credit isn't ruined... yet. There is bound to be something great waiting for us at the end of this long night. So I just keep praying.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Those poor men!!

This is a great article about how the recession is mostly happening to men. A few of the highlights:
-Men dominate the hardest-hit sectors of the workforce during the recession, so more of them are being laid off than women. Boo hoo.
-For the first time in history, women are close to becoming half the workforce. This article says the milemark is bittersweet, but I say no it's not. Women are unemployed too. I would know.
-Even though women are nearly half the workforce, they still make 80 cents on the man's dollar. This lead to a very astute comment on the article stating that all of these previously male-dominated employment sectors are replacing those laid-off men with women whose salaries are 20% lower. It's a win-win for the upper echelon... as always.
The article is good, if too sympathetic to the men. The graph is hilarious, and the comments... well you should just go read it!

Sunday, August 09, 2009

Stephanopolous takes down Gingrich

I thought this was definitely the high point of today's This Week. Gingrich is nothing but a hatemonger. He tells lies and spreads rumors, and the only time he gets called on it is when he is foolish enough to appear on a political talk show. You would think resigning in disgrace would be enough to convince him to keep his pie hole shut... but I guess the fact that he doesn't get it is at least good for entertainment value.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Friday Morning Stomachache

Pat Buchanan is all about protecting that endangered species, that put-upon, degraded, ignored, and under-appreciated white man. Among his more brilliant arguments on Rachel Maddow's show, when asked why 95.5% of supreme court justices thus far have been white:
I think white men were 100% of the people who wrote the constitution, 100% of the people who signed the Declaration of Independence, 100% of the people who died at Gettysburg and Vicksburg, probably close 100% of the people who died at Normandy. This has been a country basically built by white folks.
He says that Sotomayor isn't qualified for the supreme court because her test scores aren't high enough; because she got into Princeton based on her race rather than her intelligence; that she doesn't have the kind of mind to go up against, say, Scalia. He goes on to say that when all of the US Olympic track team is all black, he doesn't automatically assume discrimination. He thinks maybe they are just the fastest guys out there. When he looks at the US hockey team, and they are all white guys from Minnesota, he thinks maybe they are just the best hockey players out there. He says he opposed Harriet Meyer because she too wasn't qualified and didn't have the best thinking mind; even though she was a good Christian woman and would have voted with him. It's the THINKING MIND that matters. So following his own words, when he looks at the Supreme Court of the United States and sees they are all white guys, well, he thinks maybe they are just the smartest guys out there.
He goes out on this note: "They ought to defend the legitimate rights of white working class folks who are the victims of discrimination because that's the right thing to do and because it's the politically right thing to do."
He is absolutely convinced of his argument. It's just scary. Next time he appears in public I think he might be wearing a white hood.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Signs of improvement

The economy must be improving, because last week I started receiving credit card offers again. Also I got checks to use the cards I already have. That hasn't happened in about a year.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Those funny republicans

Did you see this? How about these? And this? Aren't they funny, those republicans? Know what they all had in common? Apologies. Oh, they are so sorry. They never meant to offend anyone. They just thought they were being humorous. They didn't see anything overtly racist! They don't think of things in terms of black and white!
Know what? How about when you idiots do stuff like this, you keep your self-serving apology? How about instead, you grow a pair and say that those thoughts should not be crossing your mind IN THE FIRST PLACE? How about if you say that you understand you did something racist, and that you are going to try to change your thought processes? At least, for the love of pete, stop trying to convince us that you're not really racist. YOU ARE.