On the other hand...

Question: What makes a 200-lb woman finish a half marathon?
Answer: Sheer force of will.
I posted about will power, because I thought the article was interesting. Upon further reflection, I understand that I am still thinking that my problem with food is about will power. I am living proof that it isn't. If it was about simple determination, I would be at the weight my inner idiot thinks I should be. It just isn't about that. It is about a whole lot of other things that I am convinced science doesn't know about yet.
One of my co-workers had remarked on my grape powerade zero bottle at lunchtime yesterday, and asked me if it tasted good. I told her I was re-using the bottle so really it was diet cran-grape, but yes the powerade tastes good! Then my inner idiot felt the need to justify the fact that I was drinking powerade to begin with. I stopped myself before I started justifying, and instead I said, "You know, I need to drink that stuff after I run, so that my blood pressure stays up. I just still have a hard time thinking of myself as an athlete, even though I have done a half marathon." She gave me kind of a dumbfounded look, and said, "Yeah, you have to be really fit to be able to do that. I'm pretty sure you are an athlete." We both smiled and then went on with the conversation. But that was a really great, enlightening moment for me. Not because I didn't already know that stuff, and hadn't had that conversation before, with myself and with other people. That moment was different because I felt a sense of acceptance about the fact that I am an athlete.
I do find it curious that acceptance of this fact should be so difficult. I don't have a hard time calling myself a mathematician, because I do math all day, and who cares if it's at the middle school level. I don't hesitate to call myself a liberal, even in a room full of conservatives. It's about how I look at myself, not how I perceive the rest of the world sees me.
So in my world, why shouldn't it be possible that I am both "overweight" and and athlete? I'm really not even sure I am overweight. I think I am my weight. And, I'm an athlete.