My Wishes

I learned how to make the sugar-free creamer! I put 3 cups 1% milk, 1 cup heavy cream, 12 sweet n' low packets, and a dollop of vanilla. It tastes better than the store-bought one. I wonder if there is such thing as caramel extract? Oh!! There is sugar-free caramel syrup! I will try it next time. YUM.
I got my state tax refund just in time to avoid overdrawing my account when my car insurance comes out. I hate this out-of-control feeling. I feel almost like I'm back to square one, but really I'm not because I do have some emergency funds, and I do have a budget that is workable, and when I get my federal return I'll be in good shape. I am afraid that I will go on a shopping binge... especially after this last depression. With my disease, there tends to be an equal and opposite swing for every time I go up or down. If I go into a mania, then there is a good chance I'll spend. But this time might be different because the depression was caused by the change in meds. We'll see what happens. Next week I'll start an intensive outpatient program that is supposed to help me develop skills to better manage my moods on my own, when I find them swinging around. Dr. Saeed says this might help because I am compliant with my treatment and those are the patients that are usually able to learn these new skills. It's called Dialectical Behavior Therapy. I don't know, it sounds kind of tree-huggy but if Dr. Saeed says it will help then I will try it.
I have called in sick the last 2 days, and I think my co-teacher is resentful. It doesn't help that our classroom is still 85 degrees. She was taking the classes down to the auditorium and other places to escape the heat, which to me is a very bad idea, but I wasn't there so I can't judge. I just know that change of venue is a really bad idea with my SPED kids because they tend to lose all control of their behavior.
I wish I could tell the people at work how dangerous it is when I am unstable, without fear of stigmatism. People hear the word "bipolar" and they think, oh my god, that person is crazy and is not to be trusted! And that kind of attitude is even worse when you're a teacher. I wish I could make them understand that I am aware of when I am unstable and I know what to do when it happens, and that includes calling in sick because my mood is out of control. I wish I didn't have this disease but wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which one fills up. I don't tell them what is wrong. I just say I can't function yet, I need another day. This has happened twice this school year, and both times it took 2 days. It doesn't seem like such a crime to me. Maybe I am paranoid. Scratch that, I KNOW I am paranoid.
But, I do know that I make people mad and I hurt their feelings when I am in the bowels of my disease. I don't know when I'm doing it. It happens when I'm not me. I just see people withdraw from me and I don't even want to ask what I did anymore because it hurts to know I am behaving badly and I can't control it. When I am functioning, my social skills are normal (I think). But when I'm having a hard time, I think they just kind of go away. I lose empathy and I lose the ability to consider others' feelings before I act. At least I think that's what happens. I don't really know. I think people get frustrated because they can talk to me, and I can sort of make sense, and they see that I can talk and communicate and walk around so they don't understand why I can't go to work or go out or behave normally or function socially. How do I explain? I can't. I just have to keep apologizing, when I am Melissa again, and hope that they let it go. I don't know what else to do besides apologize. The truth is, when I am in that state, I don't give a shit what happens with other people or situations. I think, work still runs when I'm not there. People still have their own lives when I'm not there. Deal with it. Because I can't right now. I don't want to be alive. I do things like drink all day long or take extra pills. I do whatever I have to do to escape. I probably say things that are offensive or insensitive. It doesn't help that I often can't even remember conversations I had with other people when I was not myself. I don't call anyone until I am on the brink of disaster, because even in my pathetic state of disorder, I know that talking to people = consequences.
Well it feels better to get this all down in writing. The fact is I had an episode and now I'm me again and I have to deal with the consequences of the episode. It's scary... I never know what to expect. Who did I piss off? Who did I frighten? Will I lose a friend? Who will be avoiding me? Have I ruined my relationship with the person of the opposite sex that I have been trying to be with? Is my family still speaking with me? This part is absolutely not paranoia... these are all things that have happened following a significant episode.
You know another thing that is scary? Terrifying, actually. The older I get, the further my disease progresses. What will my life be like in another 10 years? Will I even be alive? Or will I have had an episode that was so bad I didn't make it to the other side?
My children ask me if they are at risk for mental illness. I have to tell them yes. It's the truth. The look on their faces hurts so much. What if at some point I get so crazy that they won't take care of me anymore? What if I turn into my Grandmother, and I am so hurtful that they hire someone to put up with me so they won't have to? I wouldn't blame them... if I get abusive, then I don't want them around. Them or anyone else I love.
And now, I shall begin to count my blessings, because that always helps. I shall also put on my gear and run/walk, because that always helps. I shall go to work, smile and be thankful that I am me again. And I shall wait for the next round. Because it's coming, and there is not a goddamn thing anyone can do about it.

Definitely off track.

A few things are awry right now. The most damaging thing is that my rent and my big credit card payment both come out of one check. My check is big enough for that but there is nothing left for gas, food, necessities. So I have had to dig in to my emergency fund. That made me feel hopeless and I spent money on things like the $6/bottle anti-cavity mouthwash I kind of need but have been doing without, junk food, restaurants, etc. My saving grace is a somewhat healthy tax return which I can use to finish my emergency fund, pay off the small B of A loan, and leave enough cushion to float through those 1st of the month paychecks. Now I am done typing as I have to hunt and peck due to cutting my fingers quite badly whilst trying to make soup with a hangover.

Ach, the frustration!!

Everything seems to be happening so slowly. I had $690 in my emergency fund and last weekend I took $90 to go out with Leslie and have fun. I blew the rest of it on fast food. I don't begrudge doing it much, because I only have so much restraint, and it's better to just take some out and have some fun than deny myself and end up going crazy and spending all of it on stuff I want but don't need. I suspected, when I read Ramsey's assertion that most people can get the emergency fund saved in a couple of months, that I wouldn't fit into that category. I just don't make enough money and I don't have anything else to sell. I already have two jobs and now I am going to start tutoring a woman who is trying to escape waitressdom by going to school but she can't get through the math by herself. I'll probably charge her $10 an hour. Every little bit helps.
I just have to be patient. The money from Vince is helping a ton, but at least half of it is going to my budget, to make up for the parts that just weren't realistic when I set the first amounts. For example the $150 for groceries just isn't realistic, given that makeup, laundry detergent, cleaning supplies, etc. comes out of that money. I had budgeted $60 for gas and that wasn't enough... it's more like $80 or $90 with gas prices so high.
Right now I have $1700 coming in my federal tax returns. I am waiting for something from the U of A because I got some fellowship money when I finished my master's this past summer. But I think I might have been taxed on it last year. If I don't get something from them today I'll go ahead and file. With that money I can finish my emergency fund and start my debt snowball. My debt snowball is different from how Ramsey says to do it because I signed up with ACCC. I have decided to pay off the small B of A loan, then the car, then the Hughes credit card that is in Mom's name. Those are the ones that are not included in the ACCC account. Then withdraw from the ACCC program and pay off those 4 accounts, smallest to largest. Then I can tackle my student loans. Freaking $40,000 of student loans... I feel like I will never pay them off before I die, and maybe I won't.

Wow.

A change I haven't been able to make: putting milk and sugar in my coffee instead of the creamer or hot chocolate. Can't do it, and want to use the sugar-free creamer because I use less of it than milk.
I don't have to think about how many times I am eating fast food because I can spend the "restaurant" money on that and when it's gone, it's gone. I just know I'm not going very often at all and it may indeed be once every other week. Probably it's more like once a week.
I have been scrimping on water and electricity and clipping coupons religiously.
I haven't given up my smart phone for a cheaper plan. I just haven't been able to bring myself to do it.
Vince came home and yesterday he brought a ton of food home. Now I just need a few things and I will be able to stay within the budget I set for groceries. WAY exciting.
My paycheck was big because I got my sub pay for last quarter. The money went directly to my emergency fund and now I am more than halfway to my goal of $1,000.00. Unbelievable. I am current on all my debt.
It looks like bankruptcy is not necessary, and now that I am not paying fees and my interest rates are about 1.5%, I no longer feel like I shouldn't have to pay the money back.
I haven't had any trouble dedicating the time I need to work on the budget. I have been checking my bank balance every day but once I saw that the credit card payments had been disbursed by ACCC and I am current on everything, I stopped checking those every day.
So, progress report. I started the Total Money Makeover one month and 2 days ago. In that time, I have accomplished the following:
Become current on all my debt.
Saved a little more than half of my $1,000 emergency fund.
Made a budget and did a really great job considering it's the first month.
Completely and totally changed my attitude about money.
Incredible. What a blessing.

the coffee

The ground coffee I bought doesn't taste bad at all, but I am still going to Costco this weekend to buy a big bag of beans. It is more economical than the ground coffee - I think - I am going to see how long a bag lasts and then I will know which one to buy.
Last night when I went with the girls to see the president, I went straight from work and had to stop for dinner. Since I had commanded the girls to go, I thought I should buy their dinner too. Since we were already at Beyond Bread, that's what we got... we were catching the bus from there, so we couldn't drive through any place. The bus cost $9.00 for the 3 of us. I spent the rest of my spending, grocery, and $10 of my gas money on the sandwiches and bus. Right now all I have in my envelopes is $10 for gas which I need to use today. The good news is I'm halfway through the month, I get paid tonight and still have $30 for groceries, $10 for restaurants, $20 for gas, and $20 for spending coming out of this paycheck. I just might make it on what I budgeted. Probably I will have to adjust it, especially for groceries, but overall I think things are going pretty good for my first month of my first attempt at a budget. If I get the sub pay I am expecting, my paycheck should be quite a bit larger than normal, so I can fit the adjustments in and then put whatever is left toward my emergency fund.
Ramsey says that if you make $20,000 a year or less, you should have $500 in your emergency fund. Otherwise put $1,000. Last year I made somewhere around $33,000. I wonder if I should stop my emergency fund at $750 or so since I am not making that much more than what he considers very low wages.

Also

I had to buy ground coffee instead of beans. I'm really pissed about it.

Patience!

This whole process is going to take a long time and I will have to be patient. At some point I hope I will stop feeling the need to check my account balances almost every day. I should only need to spend time on my finances twice a month, when I get paid.
One of my B of A accounts does not qualify for my debt reduction program because the balance on the account is less than $500. Stupid!
My laptop is seriously on its last legs. It's going to give out and I will be unhappy. I will feel deprived and I might get desperate and crazy and do whatever it takes to get a new mac.
My FSA debit card finally came so I don't have to front cash for my prescriptions for a while.
My cash is going fine so far. I didn't budget enough for groceries though. I have about $50 for the rest of the month and it's only the 9th!

2 things

First, it is really difficult to adjust to this cash thing. I had no idea. On my cash flow sheet, I will have about $50 in my bank account from tomorrow until my next paycheck on the 14th. When I look at it, I have instant anxiety. Nearly 2 weeks without any money?? How will I manage? I have to remind myself that I have cash in envelopes for all the things I will need between now and then. My gas, groceries, restaurants, and misc envelopes all have sufficient money in them (I think) to get me through the next 2 weeks. Total change of mentality! It's going to take some getting used to. I worry that I will forget about the cash and use my debit card. I think I will put the debit card into a pocket in my wallet so that if I go to use it, it won't be there and I will remember to use the cash.
Second, I am spending a LOT of time on this. I'm pretty sure that after a few months, it won't take so much effort to make sure I have everything in order. I just don't see myself devoting the time that is necessary to keep it all straight after I start work again tomorrow. Typically I am so tired when I get home that I really don't do anything except eat dinner and watch TV for 3 hours or so before I go to bed. We'll see what happens. If everything goes according to plan, I won't have to do anything for the next 2 weeks, until I get paid again.

Right on schedule.

My paycheck was bigger than expected because my salary increase for my master's degree finally went through. Yay! I hadn't taken that into account. So my paycheck is $100 bigger! Everything else is going exactly as scheduled. When I go on the ACCC website, it looks like none of my creditors have accepted my payment plan. I'm not sure what will happen with that.
I am withdrawing cash today to put in my envelopes for the first time. I'm struggling with how to make the budget mix with the cash flow. In other words I can't withdraw all my cash at the same time, so how will I keep track of how much to put in each envelope the 2nd time I withdraw? I'm sure I can figure it out but it is kind of nerve wracking to try to look at the numbers when I feel like I am speculating. Just adjusting to keeping a budget I guess. I should re-read the TMM chapter on budgeting.

A little relief

Some good things happening the past few days. Before the first CCCS transfer, which will freeze my credit card accounts, I cashed in my reward points. I got a $25 target card. This means I can finally get some groceries. I haven't been starving, don't get me wrong, but I haven't had the things I normally eat. No cheese, no milk, no cereal. So the Target down the street has groceries and that's where I am headed today. If I am careful I should be able to get everything I need, plus stuff for Christmas dinner tonight with my kids. Yay! Then, I finally got reimbursed for my medical expenses, from my FSA. The debit card never came, so I had been paying for my medical since the account started in August. I got a substantial deposit into my checking account so I immediately made payments to the one remaining credit card that was past due, and my student loans which were past due. Now I am current on everything. CCCS told me that if I was current when the program went into effect, the credit card companies might reverse the late fees and such that they had been charging me the past month especially since it's the first time I have been past due. I really hope that's true but I doubt it. I do believe it's better for my credit in the long run if I am current when the program begins, and also the TMM book says that getting current is the very first thing I should do.
If there is any extra in my budget from this point forward, it will go toward the $650 I still need for my emergency fund. Then, I can finally begin the debt snowball. I am giving up the bankruptcy idea for now, but it's always an option if I find that I can't do the debt snowball because I just don't have enough money.
I got my hair done with my Christmas money which was so nice. I will have some extra pay in the middle of January for the days I subbed during my planning period. I will have one Pima paycheck and it will be just a tiny bit bigger than normal because of parent orientation night on January 5th. Somehow, some way, this program seems to be working.

It's tough!

Not spending money is hard. Also: It sucks. I just keep telling myself that it's only temporary. Eventually I will get rid of this debt and be able to live within my means. Because I will teach myself how. However, the debt is really in my way and I am seriously considering filing for bankruptcy. I am going to talk to a lawyer this week. I may even qualify for chapter 7, but I can't afford to have my car taken away... so we'll see. I was resistant to the idea of having my debt discharged, because I think if I spent the money, I need to repay it. However, I was not taking the reality of the situation into account. The reality is that over the last 12 years or so, since I began building this debt, I have probably repaid the actual amount I spent, more than once. Once that thought occurred to me, the guilt about having the debt discharged vanished. There are plenty of people working for those companies that are rich off of my sheer desperation to survive on a teacher's salary. Screw 'em. With all the late fees, interest fees, and other fees, at least half the balance is theirs anyway.
At any rate, I have not spent a dime except a coffee, soda, and snack at the airport. I wasn't really thinking about the fact that you can't take anything past the security in the airport. So I spent about $9.00.

The restraint kinda burns

So my cash flow sheet says I will have $4.00 left tomorrow when my car payment comes out. I've been staying home, not spending a cent for days now. Yesterday I got a $75.00 Amazon gift certificate, and expect another one today. Those are for some U of A research I took part in. I want to just spend that money so bad, but I'm trying to save it for when I actually need something. I will allow myself some books for my kindle. I have been wanting to go out to sing Karaoke and drink beer really bad! But I haven't done it. I think all this financial restraint might be a good part of why I am eating like a hog. The self-indulgence has to come out somewhere.

Got a grip.

I transferred money back into my checking from my savings to cover the car payment. Then I started a cash flow worksheet, which is part of the budget plan in TMM. I hadn't started it yet... I really didn't get why it was necessary. Yesterday I listened to the budgeting lesson on CD, and Ramsey emphasizes that it will take about 3 months of writing a budget and keeping a cash flow sheet before it will become a smoother process. So I should expect to screw up regularly, and adjust, adjust, adjust. This is one of those times when I am profoundly thankful that I don't have a spouse to complicate things. I bring in what I bring in, and I am in charge of all the decisions. I do think that Vince will want to follow the TMM plan at some point, if he sees that it's really working for me. That is of course assuming he starts paying what he is supposed to pay and we stay together. I am depending on his share of the money when I get back from CO to balance my cash flow sheet. I will need grocery and gas money as well as the rest of the $400 to make the CCCS payment.
In other news, I finished my christmas shopping yesterday. I used remnants of gift cards and Bookman's credit for almost everything. I spent less than $10.00 and got some really great stuff. I'm leaving for CO the day after tomorrow and I am insanely excited! For now, all is right with the financial world.

bad math

I got myself into trouble again. I got paid yesterday. The first thing I did was go to the capital one website and pay that bill. It was just over $200. Then, I went to the B of A website and paid other bills. I used my available balance to decide how many bills to pay. I somehow glossed over the fact that my available balance would be lower once the capital one money came out. (I usually pay the capital one bill from the bank website, instead of the other way around.) So now, there is not enough money to cover my car payment. It's too late to cancel the payment without a fee. On top of that I didn't get a Pima paycheck. The car payment comes out on the 23rd. I put $400 in savings to make sure I have enough for the automatic overdraft of $400 by CCCS on January 3rd. So I'm in the negative.

payday

I got my paycheck, which was $165 bigger because of the furlough hours I made up. I am now current on everything including utilities, credit cards, and car payment. The only thing I am not current on is my student loans. If I get the Pima paycheck then I can make a payment on that debt, but probably not enough to get current. I applied for an income-sensitive payment but I haven't got an answer yet. I also put away the $400 I will need on January 2nd for my first payment to CCCS. Now the calls from Capital One will finally stop. It's been averaging 2 to 10 calls a day, starting about 8 a.m. and ending about 8 p.m. for the last 6 weeks or so.
I tried to listen to the 2nd CD in the series of Financial Peace University or whatever it's called. It is about money and relationships. I had to turn it off after about 5 minutes. I will just skip that one... it's not relevant to me anyway. In the first 5 minutes of the lesson, Ramsey quotes John Gray, the bible, Stephen Covey, and Rick Warren. It is all about how women and men think differently about money, and how your wife won't be pretty unless she has financial security. He says, out loud, that if the man has the finances in order, the woman will be prettier because she isn't stressed out about money, and her face won't scrunch up like this (insert some visual aid that thank GODDESS I couldn't see because it's an audio CD). Ramsey is a card-carrying charter member of the good ol' boys club. When he is talking about things that can't be gender specific, like how to actually save and budget money, then he is bearable to listen to. His problem, of course, is genderizing everything. Maybe when I get done with this program, and I have learned how to budget and save and give appropriately, I will write my own book and go on my own tour, giving classes about how to build a secure financial future. Except I won't genderize it. Well, maybe I will... maybe I'll only let single women come in to my classes. Maybe I will say my program is specifically for single women, kids or no kids. Because the last thing we need to hear about is a program that assumes we have a man, and that we are dependent on that man to help us make the right decisions. And Ramsey includes all this sexist bullshit in his lessons, despite the fact that almost every story featured in the book has the man being responsible for getting the couple into all that debt in the first place, because he was the one that "took care of the finances."
Psh. Ramsey has a lot of good ideas about money, but what a tool.

more gold

I dug through my jewelry box again and found a little more gold. I got $70 and this time I shopped a bit for the best deal. One store was willing to give me twice as much, but as store credit. Not helpful.
Bottom line, I have $350 in my emergency fund. WOOHOO!! I did go to Rubio's in the mall and eat fish tacos. I felt terribly guilty about spending that $7. Also bought milk and got more cash to pay off my lunch balance at the school cafeteria - it was bigger than I thought!!
I am listening to the Financial University lessons (lessons by Dave Ramsey based on the book) and he just describes my spending habits to a T. Sometimes all I can do is laugh because he is so logical about it and I am seeing clearly for the first time just how ridiculous my thinking was!! And how I SO bought in to the financial machine of the banks and credit cards! Pure folly. The worst part is I was about to pass that thinking on to my daughters!! I told them, forget what I said about needing a credit card to build your credit. Don't do it. There are other, better ways to qualify for a mortgage, and that is the only thing you should ever have on credit. Everything else should be bought in cash, after you have saved the money. I hope they listen.
So I am wracking my brain trying to think of more things to sell. I have quite a bit of credit at Bookman's (used book store and boutique) so today I am going to try to finish my Christmas shopping there.
I have to say I am still sickened by the people Ramsey chose to highlight in the book. Their stories are so white picket fence. The vast majority of the wives are "home makers" or "stay at home moms." One of the husbands made a HUGE deal out of selling his wife's car. This is what he says: "... and then I committed what some people would consider the ultimate sin: I sold my wife's BMW." I can't articulate what it is about the statement that bothers me so. Another husband who is an eBay store owner (whatever) has a wife who is a pharmacist. She clearly is the breadwinner in the family. This is part of his storytelling: "The 35 months working on the debt snowball was the hardest part, but we never wavered. Yes, we had visits from Murphy - having a baby plus Amanda's back surgery and other emergencies, to name a few - but we did it!" He thinks having a baby happened because of Murphy's Law - "everything that can go wrong, will go wrong." That is some fucked up reasoning, and saying it out loud where your child may someday read it is disgusting.
That same guy also says, "We sold our brand-new Jeep Liberty (and Amanda really loved that car) and bought a gently used 1991 model. Amanda took on an extra shift at work, and I took over extra tasks around the house to compensate." How big of him... she works herself to death and misses time with her baby and his repayment is doing the dishes. What a fucker.
Anyway, there are plenty of inspiring stories in the book that I can relate to and don't sound like that. And reading the book has inspired me to save money instead of spending it, which is huge for me. I'm excited to pay bills tonight... WEIRD!!!

Gold

Yesterday I went to a jewelry store and sold all of the gold jewelry that I have been dragging around for years and never wear. I was shocked as hell when I got $700 for it. Bam! $280 in my emergency fund. I am more than a quarter of the way there!! I kept $20 to pay for my prescription and my lunch bill at my school. I paid my cell phone, electric, and cable bills. I bought $15 worth of groceries and I'm left with $25 in my checking account. I get paid tonight - my salary and hopefully my second job at PCC. Also I get a small check for the furlough hours I managed to earn before the 10th of December. I think I will be able to get my credit cards close to current. I have to make sure I have $400 in my account at the end of the month for my credit card consolidation auto withdrawal. My christmas present from Marianne is that I won't have to spend any money in CO other than my plane ticket.
It's the first time in my adult life that I have come across some kind of financial windfall and didn't immediately spend the money on things I "needed" - like clothes, expensive food, eating out, and entertainment. I got the $280 in cash and hid it in my closet. TMM says to put it in a place where you won't have easy access to it. These days with my savings account linked to my checking and free transfers online, my savings account is not a safe place. I wrapped it up and put it in a place where I will have to go to a little bit of trouble to dig it out.
I never would have thought of selling the gold if I hadn't read the book. I'm so excited about having started my emergency fund!! I'm being responsible!!

Saving

So, last night I read a part of TMM that featured a single mother of two. She had reached her goal of saving a $500 emergency fund. It didn't say how long it took her, and I really wish it had. The book says that if you make more than $20,000 a year, you should be able to save your $1,000 emergency fund in about a month. It says to do whatever you have to do. Work another job (should I find a third?), sell things (I've already sold everything of any value), if you already have $1,000 in anything other than retirement savings, take it out (HA!). go crazy wringing and twisting out the budget and get crazy. I'm kinda stumped. For now I'll just keep on with the budget. I am supposed to use envelopes of cash for food, gas and oil, repairs and tires, clothing, toiletries/cosmetics/hair care, and spending money. I can't start that since I don't have any cash. Maybe next month. In the mean time, these are the things I am committed to changing so far:
Stop wearing makeup except on special occasions
Use milk and sugar in my coffee instead of the bottled creamer
Clip coupons religiously
Give up my Cottonelle toilet paper and use whatever is the best value
Fast food twice a month and no more
Give up my smart phone and go back to regular cell phone (if I can)
Scrimp on electricity and water

Total Money Makeover

I got the book "Total Money Makeover" (TMM) from Mom and I am going to give it a try. When I called a credit counseling firm to get them to negotiate lower interest rates and a single payment, the guy's advice was to file chapter 13 bankruptcy. I wanted to try this first, so we'll see how it works. I'm going to keep track of my progress here. I know from past experience that seeing my progress in black and white is crucial for me to keep moving forward in my goals.
The book features success stories of people who have followed the system and got out of debt in record time. I don't buy all of it... for instance how can a couple pay $15,000 toward their debt in 5 months when their yearly income is a teacher's salary of $40,000? There are no success stories of single mothers. There don't seem to be any people who currently cannot meet expenses. If Vince gives me the money he agreed to pay, it looks like I will be able to meet expenses. So far he isn't holding up his end of the deal.
My first step towards the TMM is to make a budget and stick to it. Yesterday I looked through my bank statement and wrote down everything I have spent and what it was for. I categorized everything. Ramsey put a bunch of budgeting forms in the back of the book and I am using a modified version. I am going to put it into an excel worksheet.
My next step is to save $1,000. Frankly I just don't see how this is possible. But right now I'll just focus on the budget.

Bank of America

I was in my local B of A branch today, separating my kids' accounts from mine since they are no longer minor children. Independence day! While I was there, I noticed the print advertisements hanging on the walls. They said things like, "Avoid overdraft fees. I can help!" And, ""Buy your first home. I can help!" They featured pictures of B of A employees, looking up at the camera with arms crossed and big smiles.
What I noticed was that of the four posters I saw, three featured women and one featured a man. All were light-skinned. The most curious (and foolishly patriarchal) thing about the posters was that in the poster featuring the man, he was centered in the poster and his image was quite large. The lettering went across his body, and his face was the most prominent part of the poster. In the three others, featuring women, their images were off to the left-hand side of the poster. Their images were much smaller, and the lettering was bigger across the top and in the middle of the page. The writing was the most prominent part of the poster.
Do you suppose they used focus groups?