I'm #1

I found this article about the 10 germiest jobs in America and guess what! My job is #1 on the list. I think I already knew that but it was funny to see it.

Walking

This past Monday I started getting up earlier and walking in the mornings. It's been four days now and man was it hard getting out there this morning. But I did it.

Weeds

My backyard is full of weeds. Dead weeds, mostly. I really need to get rid of them. But every time I try, I get overwhelmed and come back inside. I bought a hula-hoe so I could just chop them and then put them in a garbage bag. So I go outside and do one little area, and then look at the rest of the yard. Then I promptly put the hoe down and go back inside. It's maddening! The weeds are totally stressing me out. Every time I look out there, I think, I have to get rid of those weeds. Go outside, chop a few down, go back inside. It's just never going to get done at this point. Stupid weeds.

Freedom from Food

In my new stress-filled life, I have discovered a fringe benefit that I haven't experienced since my divorce 10 years ago. Food has become a bother. Eating is something I must do periodically to keep my body going. There is no enjoyment whatsoever in it. It is very strange. Even my morning coffee is compulsory and doesn't really taste good anymore. I am not sure how much longer this will go on but I am quite certain it's not forever so I am taking advantage of the opportunity to lose weight. Now if I could just get myself to exercise...

I'm Free!

I told my principal yesterday that I couldn't finish my two weeks. It was dishonorable and weak but I did it anyway because I can't take going there anymore. She was really good about it, too. So, I'm done with the prison! YAY!! I can hardly contain my excitement. Now I am going to work on getting my files ready for my new job, since I may actually be able to use the stuff I have.
I am also really excited about watching the vice presidential debate tonight at my sister's house. It should be a hootin hollerin good time.

I called in sick!

I don't have to go to my last Tuesday in prison because I called in sick. I might just call later on today and say that I'm not coming back at all. I just might do that.

Last Monday

Today is my last Monday at the prison. I should be happy but I am just as filled with anxiety as I always am before work. Stomach revolting, shaking, sweating, panic-filled and so tired. But I will get through the day, just like I have for the last month, hour by hour. It will pass by, no matter how slowly. Or, maybe I'll get lucky and it will go by fast! It's happened before!

What if I forgot how to teach?

Only one more week until I can be a teacher again. I took a 7th grade math position at a middle school about 15 minutes away from my house. I worry that I have forgotten how to teach in the last 5 months of insanity. What if I don't know what to do? Then I think that's just silly, of course I will know what to do!! I will snap back into being a teacher because that's what I do. This last 5 months has been an aberration. I guess I just wanted to see what it was like to be a corrections officer. Well, now I know. I also know it's not the job for me! I just don't want to delude myself about the situation I am going into now. I will be taking over someone else's classroom after an entire quarter, which is no small job. I just have to have faith that I will know what to do, that the last 3 years experience will be enough to get me through the transition. I am totally excited about being around 7th graders again.

The old man

Yesterday the old man I work with told me I was "falling apart like a ten dollar shotgun and wound up tighter than a ten cent watch." So I guess he mixes his metaphors. That one actually felt kind of mean so I didn't really respond when he said that. Usually I laugh at him.
He has been working at the prison forever. I mean, like 20 years or something. Once when I asked him what the secret was, he told me he was heavily sedated and offered to give me the number of his doctor. I can never tell when he is serious so I just laughed.
He is also the one that said to me once, "What in the cornbreaded hell are you eating?" Which made me laugh so hard I almost spewed my food all over the table.
If I can get through today, only 5 more days left.

8 more days

I put in my 2 week notice on Monday, so my time at the facility grows short. Thank Goddess, because that place is so full of ugliness I can't keep going there without changing who I am. So I'm leaving. There is this old man I work with who reminds me a lot of my papa. Yesterday he found out I was quitting and he said, "All I had to do was take a look at your face over the past two weeks to know you were falling apart like a ten dollar watch." I thanked him for being supportive. 8 more days.

no school!

Today is a no school day, which means I still report for work but there won't be any classes. I have to go to a training for the new electronic gradebook but other than that, I can spend the whole day doing lesson plans and cleaning the pigsty of a classroom I have inherited. (There is no custodial staff where I work.)
The phone I bought on e-bay seems to be broken. So people, if you need to reach me, use email! On another fun note, I appear to be developing another skin tag. Is this something that happens with age? EW!

The best sandwich ever

I just had a tuna sandwich with bread and butter pickles on toasted whole wheat. I just had to share because it was the best. sandwich. ever. Or maybe I was just really hungry.

MIT

My kid got a letter from MIT. Not a big deal letter, just an invitation saying when and where their recruiters would be. But still, MIT?? Holy crap.

Last Day!

Today is my last day of academy! I made it! Or, I'm really close anyway! If I can just get through today I will be done. Today we're learning about classroom management.
Yesterday, one of the cadets was dismissed. She was the one that kept raising her hand asking really stupid questions. The instructor would be reading the powerpoint, hammering home some stupid point that was totally obvious to anyone with half a brain. Of course her hand would go up. Then she would ask a question that had either already been answered or was on the next slide. It drove everyone else crazy. Anyway the past 2 days we have been learning how to physically restrain someone when they are acting aggressively. It's been very hands-on, and we've had to overcome the whole "you're a boy and I don't want your arms around my waist" thing. She had a really hard time with the whole thing and I guess they decided she is a security risk. So she's gone, just like that! Couldn't have happened to a nicer gal. NOT! I'm being mean, but I'm glad she's gone.

I got promoted

Not really, I didn't get promoted to head of the math department. What really happened is the other math teacher quit. So now I'm it. This means my class sizes will be huge. We're talking 16 screwed up, ADHD, sometimes violent high school aged boys in the same room. I just don't see a whole lot of teaching going on. Well, it's a good thing I am going through academy so I can be a corrections officer instead. Yeah, it's just a good thing.

4 more days

Only 4 more days of that lousy academy! I cannot wait to be done!
All that sitting makes me so restless. It's good to have a refresher perspective on what my students' days are like. It will help me remember to have them actively participating and up out of their seats every 15 minutes or so.
So, it will make me a better teacher, and that's really all that matters in the long run. It's the short run that gets me.

Two things

Two things have happened since I started working at the department of corrections. First, I am much more feminine when I am at home than I used to be. I need to have my nails just so, my toes pedicured, something sparkly somewhere on my body, and lots and lots of pink. Second, I am watching more cartoons. I find that I have lost interest in every other tv show I used to watch, and now the only things I watch are The Simpsons and Family Guy. Why? Because I get plenty of reality all day long. When I get home, I need to be a princess in a more pleasant, funny reality. A reality where the criminals don't hurt anyone and the police bungle around, never catching them. Those are my observations so far. It's still been such a short time, who knows what the long term effects will be! If I keep the job, and that's still a big if.
Only 9 more days of academy left to go. I can do it! I can do it!

13 to go

Only 13 more academy days to go. I'm almost halfway through. Yesterday was actually much, much better. We learned about drugs and mental health treatment, so the classes were interesting. We will be tested on this material, and they gave us a study guide with the test questions, so we had that to fill out as well. All in all, not a bad day. Hopefully today will be as good or better!

Another funny CNN bias note... I guess they are full on supporting Barack Obama. On their website, there is a link that says "Who will Obama pick as VP?" Then right below it is a link that says "Who will be John McCain's running mate?"

Day 3

This is day 3 of 3 days of training in Phoenix. I am really looking forward to getting home. I like my coworkers, but nobody needs to spend this much time around the people they work with! There's bonding, then there's bonding. Right now, for example, I have my back turned to my still slumbering roommate. Why? She apparently doesn't wear underwear to bed, and let me tell you a full moon is out, plus some.

More stupid academy

Today we are learning CPR and first aid so maybe it won't be quite so boring. We have to actually do CPR on a dummy. Ugh. Picture doing that in a starched white shirt and creased pants. YUCK!
It's seriously so bad, I want to quit the freaking job to avoid going. But, people who have been through it keep telling me it will pick up after the first 2 weeks are over. I really, really hope so.