stupid CNN

Stupid CNN finally added Barack Obama to their "Hot Topics" category. I wonder if they are going to turn.

Hot Topics » Election Center 2008 • The Political Ticker • Barack Obama • Hillary Clinton • John McCain • more topics »

Proof match.com is no good for me

Online Dating Helping Pathetic Women Get Their Hopes Crushed More Efficiently

I didn't know birds ate those...

HOUSTON—According to an official NASA report released Saturday, nearly 32 percent of all prayers exiting Earth are deflected off satellites orbiting the planet—ultimately preventing the discharged requests for divine intervention from ever making it to the Gates of Heaven. "After impact with the satellite, these diverted prayers typically plummet back into the atmosphere, where they either burn up or eventually land, unanswered, in a body of water," the report read in part. "Of the remaining prayers, research confirms 64 percent fail to make it past the stratosphere because they aren't prayed hard enough, 94 percent of those with enough momentum are swallowed by a supermassive black hole at the center of the Milky Way galaxy, and 43 percent are eaten by birds." The report concluded that, of the 170 billion prayers issued last month, one made it to God, whose reply was intercepted by a hurricane and incorrectly delivered to a Nigerian man who reportedly did not know what to do with his brand-new Bowflex machine.

I'm not a prosophobe, MOM

And I can prove it. A prosophobe (or whatever you called me) would wait until the last possible moment to go to disgusting Wal-Mart and buy the digital signal converters. Then, even if the prosophobe bought the digital converters, there's no way she would hook them up until the last possible moment. I still have until February of next year, and yet here I am with digital television signals. So there! Hmmph.
Nevermind the fact that I was so grouchy about buying the damn things I almost bit the Wal-Mart guy's head off. I was very hostile.
Also, nevermind that I am still livid about being forced to have digital TV even though I am perfectly happy with my analog signal! But it's not about being afraid of progress. It's about being forced to pay for something that should be free. The reason we have to watch all those damn television commercials is because the companies who buy that airtime are paying for me to have the signal, in return for my watching their ad. People who buy cable are being shafted. Are there less commercials on those networks? I think not! If anything there are more! So the networks are making money hand over fist from the advertisers, and you're paying them for the privilege of watching their commercials! Why don't I pay someone good money to sit next to me and beat me over the head with a stick? Because that's what it amounts to, in my book.
That said, the digital signal is nice. It's clear and clean, and I have 17 channels now instead of 7. (Ok, so half of them are Spanish.) The converter boxes were $50. With the $40 coupons from the government, I had to pay a total of $20 for the two boxes. It's a one-time expense that should not have bothered me, but it did because that was Wal-Mart's profit. Ew.
What really makes me mad is that there are millions of people who were perfectly happy with their analog signals, and five channels, who will go ahead and buy cable because it's easier than getting the coupons, buying the converter boxes, and setting them up. Not to mention the pressure of society saying, "You're afraid of progress! That's why you don't want to pony up for a service you don't want!" There are millions, literally, of senior citizens and otherwise homebound people who will still be shocked and dismayed next February when their TV doesn't work anymore. So ok, that's progress, yahoo. And I'm not even going to START on what it means for society at large when not receiving television signals is tantamount to Chinese water torture.
If you had asked me a few years ago, I never would have thought that I would have to be dragged by the hair, kicking and screaming, into the digital age.

And so it begins.

For the last 2 nights in a row, I have had teaching dreams. The kind I usually have right before the new school year begins. I've got all these kids everywhere, and they are roaming around and being naughty, and I can't get them to listen to me. As soon as I get a group of kids seated and settled in one area of the room, the other areas erupt in naughtiness (the room is always the size of a damn airplane hangar). Invariably the principal walks in and sees the chaos, and then I wake up. I guess I am having the dreams now because I am not sure where I will be at the beginning of next school year.
Maybe I will end up at Raytheon, making missiles, and then I can dream about mass destruction instead of teaching. Or teaching at Juvy - I bet those dreams would be interesting!

More Fun with Craig's List

I read the personals on Craig's List - for entertainment value only! Today there were some real beauts! So I decided I should share:

I had a girlfriend in NC and she had a bad heart and her health insurance would not cover the operation she need. Well not all of it and she could not get the Dotor she need to do her heart operation. Well we made qa deal and we married so she could use my insurance and now she well we filed the LEGALLY separation and she has her life and I have my. Divorce will be finally in 11 months and until then she uses my insurance. So that last should be 4th marriage but it was a contract and I can send it to you if want to see it.

I sincerely have a preference for women with small tiny breast (AA or A), but have BIG IDEAS & SINCERE INTENTIONS.

I am kind and considerate and thoughtful and a gentle man that still opens the car door for someone or puts down the foot pegs for her to jump on the back of the bike. I like times at the river or a lake I love riding through the country side looking at are wonderful world of nature.

I'm for real, kind, considerate, sensual and caring. But I don't want to fall-in-love, or deal with the drama of dating. I want to be your go-to guy. Obviously I'm not going to lay out a picture of myself for the world to see. I'm professional and have some scrupals.

I saved the best for last...


I’m seeking an intelligent SWF, late 20s- to late 40s, one whose sweet and good-hearted and fun to talk to, but who sometimes needs a reminder of how reasonable young ladies are supposed to behave. Be assured, whether it’s delivered on the spot, or whether you’re sent to your room with a smack on the bottom and made to wait for me to “deal with you,” your fate will be sealed.

I'm going to juvy.

I hope. I am applying for a job teaching in a secure school - that's the fancy term they use these days for juvy! It pays a LOT more money. Plus, there are probably not a lot of parents I will have to deal with! Ha! They might even be motivated to stay in the classroom, if the alternative is their cell.
So, I'm applying. The job doesn't close until June 30 so there's plenty of time to wait. *sigh*

Wednesday Bitchery

Today's late bitchery is about parents who believe everything their kid says, even when it doesn't make sense. Parents, listen up. Your kid will lie to get out of trouble. If you have to believe either your kid or the adult that spends more time each day with them than you do, PICK THE ADULT. Here's an example of what I am talking about. I give a homework assignment. Your kid doesn't do it. When I ask why, he says it's because he didn't feel like it. A few days or possibly weeks later, you check your kid's grades online and notice the zero grade. You ask your kid what assignment it was and why it's missing. Kid tells you he has no idea, he turned it in, Ms P. must have lost it, etc. etc. ad nauseum. You believe your kid, and call the principal demanding to know why this clearly incompetent boob is pretending to teach your kid math! Principal calls a meeting! Everyone is angry, but most of all the incompetent boob! I hate you all.

Too good to be true!!

Please, please, forces of the universe! Let it be true!!

I hit the wall

... with the soup. I can't eat any more soup for a while. Today was supposed to be the last day anyway. If I am not purified by now, it's not happening. I finally stopped having to pee every hour on the 5th day, so maybe that is a sign. I'm just going to avoid sugar and flour, and other than that eat what I want. If I could get some exercise back into my day that would be great. Don't know when I will be ready to do that. Maybe never.
I'm becoming resigned to my life as a spinster. One really great thing about that is I can do what I want, when I want, and not have to worry about taking anyone else into consideration. So, I guess after I get my finances straightened out, which will be after I find a higher paying job, then I should start doing some things I want to do. Like see the Louvre, and Mount Rushmore. There is no shame in going those places by myself.

Day 5

Yesterday went really well. No cravings, no hunger, no feeling deprived. I think I am probably not losing weight because I'm not suffering... but I don't know because I don't have a scale. Maybe if I try on some clothes to see if they are looser.
Today I am supposed to eat beef. If I stay on this diet, I think I'll start referring to the days of the week by what I'm eating, like those Subway commercials. "I still need to do homework. It's due on beef and tomatoes!" or, "I can't have dinner with you on brown rice. I want to stay home and watch the political coverage."
HAHAHA!! I crack myself up.
Anyway I had another baby dream night before last. I've had them about once a month, ever since my surgery. It's never the same dream, but in the dreams I have somehow or another acquired an infant and I'm just holding it and hugging it and loving it. Another common theme is that the baby always cries at some point, and it doesn't stress me out at all. In real life, babies crying tend to stress me out. So the reaction in this dream is unusual. I just comfort the baby, and it stops crying. Inevitably, the day following the dream I am very, very sad and I think about the dream often. I think there must be something really interesting going on in my psyche!

Day 3

My BFF wanted me to do this purification eating plan with her. Lord knows I got nothing but fat to lose, so I said OK. Today is day 3, so I'm eating soup, veggies, and fruit. The strange thing is, I have been able to stay on it so far and it hasn't been miserable. I'm not going to bed hungry, I'm not fighting horrid cravings, and I had a slight headache the first day that went away and never came back. I was extremely exhausted the last 2 days, but today I woke up and bounced out of bed. That hasn't happened in quite a while... not since I was eating well, I guess.
Today is Friday so we'll see how the weekend goes.

LOL!

This campaign for the democratic nominee is more fun than I have ever had with politics. It is endlessly entertaining! The press is often the funniest part! Like this example from the NYT:
The higher the turnout in a district, the more delegates it has to offer, meaning that urban areas like Austin — where Mr. Obama has been received in recent days with the kind of fervor usually accorded only Willie Nelson — will award a large number.
Comparing the popularity of Barak Obama to that of Willie Nelson! LOL!!!! Now where, and when, I ask you, would you come across something like that?

My BFF

My BFF and her daughter are coming today from Pinetop. I'm so excited! We are going to Kartchner Caverns, and then visiting the Mission del San Xavier, and then going to Tubac because I heard there is some really cool stuff there. She has to leave Sunday morning, boo.

Why the favoritism?

I don't like CNN very much. And I don't understand why the media is not expected to be unbiased anymore. I thought that the foundation of good reporting was objectivity. Hillary Clinton spoke first in the debate last night, and she also spoke last. Not fair. On CNN's election center website, near the top of the page, it says:
"Hot Topics » Election Center 2008 • The Political Ticker • Hillary Clinton • John McCain • more topics »"
Definitely not fair and not objective. They are clearly biased toward Clinton. What is the reason for this?

It's official.

I have officially caved in and entered the technology age. I have high-speed, wireless internet. Here's the kicker - it's cheaper than the land line and dial-up ISP I was using! So, now I guess I can start posting on my blog again. About a month ago, my desktop computer got infected with a virus. I couldn't download an anti-virus program to combat it because the dial-up server kept disconnecting before the download finished. It was a mess. I worked on it and worked on it but I could not fix it. So I wiped the hard drive and now it's in the garage, waiting to be donated. Then I realized I could get high-speed internet cheaper. The guy from Cox came and hooked it up today. Woohoo!
But, I am not getting cable. So don't even ask.

Friday Gratitude

I am grateful for finding yoga classes. I can't go very often once work starts again but wow, they are great! It doesn't feel like I am doing much of anything and yet I break a sweat, and my muscles are sore from head to toe so I must be doing something right. When I leave I feel so calm and peacful, it is incredible. So thank you Universe for sending those.

Wednesday Bitchery

You know what I hate? I hate when skinny people try to talk to me about my weight. I suppose said skinny people are trying to "help" me because they "love" me. Know what else I hate? I hate that my weight is such a public problem. I can't hide my food problem the way that people can hide their drinking or drug or other problems. My food problem is right out there for everyone to see. I can't even imagine what it must look like from the outside in. All I know is that sometime over the summer I completely lost it and started gaining weight, and that train is still speeding along. And I cannot stand it. It's hard enough to deal with it myself. To have people trying to talk to me about it just exacerbates the situation. Especially when the people who are trying to talk about it have never had a food problem. If they start to gain weight, they just eat less and exercise more. They don't understand why I don't just do that too. Well skinny people, if you ever figure out what it is in your brain or body that allows you to make that decision and then just do it, let me know. Otherwise please just leave me alone. I'm eating.

Is this considered stalking?

Breastalicious called me last night to wish me a happy birthday. I am disturbed by this on so many levels. We went on one date, back in April. Why does he still have my number? Furthermore how does he know when my birthday is? And why, 8 months after the fact, does he suddenly feel the need to apologize for making a bad impression? I am SERIOUSLY creeped out.

Friday Gratitude

I have been very busy preparing for the holiday. I have faced many stumbling blocks. Will my bananas ripen in time to make the bread? How much paprika should I put in the herb paste for the $120 rib roast? Will the farmer's market have garlic on Saturday or will I have to buy it at the store?
Last night on the news I saw a family in the middle east who has been displaced from their home because of sectarian violence. They have faced many stumbling blocks. Where will they go after the holiday? The landlord is kicking them out. Will the father be able to find a job? The mother has been killed. Will they be able to have dinner tonight? There is no money, and even if there was, there is no food to buy.
The father had just gone grocery shopping and he spread out what he was able to buy so that the camera could get a good shot. It was all cans. A can of peas, a can of some sort of meat. There were maybe 6 cans of food and who knows how long it will sustain the family.
I am profoundly grateful for where I live and who I am. I am grateful for my conscience, which is demanding that I spend more of my time and resources helping those less fortunate. I am grateful that I have my family and the biggest of my worries as far as they are concerned, is who will be the first to cry on Christmas. I am grateful for the opportunity to redefine "stumbling blocks" and realize that what I have are inconveniences at best. I am even grateful for the media, without whom I would not be able to have this attack of conscience. I pray that the universe will help that family and all the other ones who are struggling. Please, help them find some peace.