I dread this time every year. It's my least favorite week on the school calendar... third quarter parent conferences. Time to start thinking about who will be retained. Time to meet with parents who haven't been doing their jobs for years, and kids who haven't cared about their grades in years, and make them pay the piper. Ah, the wailing and gnashing of teeth! The excuses, the cop-outs, the laying of blame! In the end, it always comes out the same. I wish we could just cut to the chase. This is how it should go:
Teacher: You and your kid need to get it together or your kid is going to come back for another year.
Parent: Why is this the first I am hearing about this?
Teacher: It's not.
Parent: Why didn't anyone call me if little Johnny wasn't turning in homework?
Teacher: First, that isn't my job, and second, I did.
Parent, to child: Why aren't you doing your work?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: Ok, so it looks like we're finished here. You have one shot: quit being a dumbass and buckle down for the next three months, and then we'll promote you because you are too big and we don't want you driving yourself to middle school. See ya.
Badda bing, badda boom. 3 minutes, we're done. Why the histrionics? Why the multiple opportunities for laying the blame elsewhere?
This is the week I hate my job.
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