Try that again

I worked a 12 hour day yesterday and did not work out. My mental exhaustion is so utter and complete that I feel there is no hope of getting back on track. This week I have had to convince two sets of parents that retention is the best option for their child. The crying, the anguish, the pain on their faces is just more than I can bear. It is rare to see a grown man cry, but tell him his daughter has to repeat the 8th grade and there it is. I feel so deeply for them, but I refuse to throw their kids into a situation where I KNOW they will be overwhelmed. I refuse to just keep pushing them through even though they lack the most basic study skills, not to mention academic ones. It amazes me how many teachers are willing to give up once the parents start crying. Where is their sense of professional duty? As teachers, it is our job to do what we believe will best serve the CHILD. Even when it is difficult and painful.
So, the food was fine yesterday until I went to the teachers lounge for lunch and sat down next to a cake. Then proceeded to eat fried food for dinner because I was so hungry by the time I got to the grocery store, my last stop before home, I bought food from the deli - whatever looked good. Went to bed and had nightmares about my sister fighting a shark, and her husband killing my dad. This morning I just want to cry, go back to bed and just cry myself back to sleep. But instead I will go to work and smile and the kids and tell them this is their last day of testing and THEY CAN DO IT!!!!! Something funny did happen yesterday - I ran out of the snacks the school provided for AIMS testing, so I told the kids I would go to the store and get them whatever they wanted. Know what they asked for? Fresh fruit and beef jerky. All week they have been showing up with crackers, fruit snacks, junk! The school provided crackers - every flavor you can imagine. No protein, no fiber. So then I ask them what they want, and they make the most healthy choice! Too funny. So I got them strawberries, grapes, and beef jerky. I do love my job. I'm just really tired.